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It doesn’t sound that exciting, but Daria is positively giddy as she links her arm with mine and drags me from the classroom.
“Oh my god, you’re so funny,” she squeals. “You’ll understand when you meet them.”
“I’m going to meet them?”
“Duh,” she says, rolling her eyes. “They’re moving back. That’s why everyone’s talking.”
“Okay…”
“They’re ballers,” she says. “That means basketball for my sports-challenged friend.”
“I knew that.”
She just laughs. “They’re really good, so we’re definitely going to state now that they’re coming back. Ugh, I can’t wait to have another chance to kick Willow Heights’ ass. They annihilated us last game.”
“Right.”
I haven’t kept up with the basketball team, since I haven’t been able to attend any games. It sounds like they aren’t doing so well, and these guys are an answered prayer, according to Daria.
“Plus,” she adds, as if it’s an afterthought of little consequence, “Colin was my first love.”
“Really?” I try to picture Daria in love but have trouble conjuring the image.
“Oh, yeah,” she says, keeping her arm linked in mine as we weave through the crowded hallway. “He was totally like the biggest jerk, so of course I adored him.”
“Wait,” I say. “Is that the guy who slept with the Slut Club girl?”
She gives me her devilish grin. “Yeah, that was back before I knew how to handle a man.”
“You know, if you were a guy, you’d be Chase.”
“No, because if I were Chase, I’d be smart enough to datemeand not waste my time with other girls when clearlyIam a goddess who deserves worship above all others.”
I laugh at her strange logic, thinking that she just proved my point. I almost like it that Daria knows I like Chase. She’s the only person I can talk to without being paranoid that someone will wonder why I’m talking about him. I usually avoid the subject, and never bring him up in conversation around Lindsey.
“So how long ago did you guys date?” I ask, stopping at my locker. “You and Colin, I mean.”
“Oh, like, all of junior high.”
“And since then you’ve learned how to handle a man?”
“Well, yeah,” she says. “They’re really simple once you figure it out. Men are like babies. They just need food, sleep, and a toilet. The only difference is that men have replaced crying with sex. Once you know how to manipulate the essentials, you’ll never get screwed over again.”
I give her a sideways glance as I exchange my books, thinking about how complicated Chase is, how hard to figure out. “That sounds a little too simple to me.”
“Whatever,” she says with a shrug. “Boys are simple.”
“Well, I’m sure you’d know better than me.”
She heaves a sigh. “After Colin, I swore I’d never let a guy fuck me over, and I haven’t. I’ll never be a mess over a guy again. Now, if a guy’s an ass to me, I just walk away. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and only one me for them to fight over.”
I consider asking if she’s never a mess over guys because she’s never really cared about a guy besides Colin, but I figure I shouldn’t point out the flaw in her argument. She is who she is, and she likes herself that way. Who am I to argue with that? She seems to have it all figured out, and I sure as hell don’t.
“So when are these guys coming back?” I ask, changing the subject before Daria goes off on another rant about how worthless men are.
“Next semester,” she squeals, clapping her hands. “So soon. I can’t wait to make Colin eat his heart out every single day for the rest of his life.”
“Wow,” I say. “That’s a little intense.”
