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I try to get hyped with her, but since I can't even go to the games, it's a little hard to care about the new players. Besides, how much can a couple ballers really change things?
I’ll probably never get to see the Finnegans play anyway. I really only want to go to the games to hang out with my friends, since I couldn’t care less about sports, but I’m still grounded for life.
Actually, my grounding isn’t exactly over, but Mom lets me study with Lindsey whenever I’m not working, which usually turns into shopping, or talking, or watching movies, or even church on Wednesday night.
That night we’re watching a movie about blonde girl writing lyrics for a washed-up pop singer while they secretly fall in love when my phone rings. I fumble around in my bag for it and dig it out amid some other junk. I talk to my mom for a minute, and when I come back into the room Lindsey is holding my birth control packet, which must have fallen out with the other stuff I pulled out on her floor.
“Why do you havebirth control?” she asks, whispering the last two words. “I thought you were, you know,waiting?”
“I am,” I say quickly, my face burning. “It’s just that my mom is a total freak, and she flipped out when she saw me sleeping with Todd on the couch at Chase’s party that time I got grounded forever. She made me get on birth control, even though I’ll probably be like a forty-year-old virgin.”
Lindsey sighs and lies back on her pillows. “Your mom is so cool. My parents would never let me get on birth control.” She pouts at me and holds out the packet. “Even though I need it more than you do.”
I can’t believe anyone would ever say my mom was cool. She’s embarrassing beyond words, especially because she made me get on birth control when there’s not even the slightest chance I’ll be needing it in the near future, or probably ever if she can do anything about it.
Lindsey’s mom is so much cooler than mine, with all the cookies and the memory albums, and the trust when it comes to parties and staying out late. She’s like a soccer mom who gives Lindsey everything and cares about all her activities, and still lets her go get drunk afterwards. Well, I guess she doesn’t exactlylether get drunk, but she’s not all suspicious when Lindsey hasn’t ever done anything wrong, unlike my control freak mother.
“You can have it,” I blurt out, before I even realize what I’m doing. When a smile breaks over her face, though, I know I’ve done the right thing. She looked all bitter and jealous before, and now she’s the sweet warm Lindsey I’ve come to know and love.
“Really?” she says, beaming at me. “Oh my gosh, you have no idea how much peace of mind this will give me. Only if you’re sure, though. You don’t need it, right?”
“Seriously, I’ll never use it. It’s stupid for me to even have it. It’s yours.”
“Oh, thank you so much!” She stands and throws her arms around me. “Chase and I are always careful, and you know,protected,but there’s always that chance that we could slip up or something could go wrong… And if I ever gotpregnant…”
She shudders dramatically.
“That would suck,” I agree.
“No, you don’t understand,” she says. “Your dad’s cool. My daddy would like, hunt Chase down with a shotgun and then permanently disown me. Seriously, my grampa disowned kids for less. I’d literally die of shame if I disgraced the Darling name.”
Oh, please, just take it.
“I mean, not to be totally paranoid, but my parents think we’re waiting until marriage, and if they found out—not that they could. Chase always takes care of all that so there’s no evidence in the house. But they think I’m still pure, Daddy’s little girl, and I’ll wear white to the wedding like I should…” She gives me a guilty look. “I wish we’d waited.”
“Just… Don’t tell your parents I gave you that if they find it,” I say. “I don’t want them to hate me for corrupting you.”
“I’ll just tell them it fell out of your purse,” she says brightly. “Which isn’t a lie.”
“Great,” I say. “So they’ll think I’m a slut.”
“I can have Chase hold onto it.”
“No!” I cry. She’ll probably tell him she’s on the pill now, and he’ll want to know where she got it, and then I will die. “Just keep it in my locker. You go there every day anyway, and when I get a new one every month, I’ll put it in there for you.”
“Okay, cool,” she says. “Thank you so much, Sky. You just saved my life.”
I’m relieved I won’t be included in her conversation with Chase about birth control. After she takes me home that night, I lie in bed trying not to think about them having sex, when I realize that I’ll probably be in their conversation anyway. Just because he doesn’t have to keep it doesn’t mean she won’t tell him about it. But then, Lindsey does like to keep most of her private business very private, so maybe she won’t tell him after all.
And even if she does, what does it matter? It’s not like we’ll ever be having sex.
four
Now Playing:
“Bitch”—Meredith Brooks
The last Friday before Christmas break is always exciting, and this year even more so because we wake up to snowflakes spitting from the grey sky. Lily shrieks so loudly you’d think she’d never seen snow, even though in Connecticut, she was sick of it by spring like the rest of us. Even there, though, the first snow always felt magical.
