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He replies by leaning in front of me to open the glove box, pulling out a garage door opener and pressing the button to open the garage. It’s then that I see his truck parked on the side of the house. He’s brought me to his home. In an instant, I am flooded with emotions. It’s a feeling of excitement, fear and calm all at once. I’m so excited to be in his space and see where he lives, yet afraid that I’m still not as ready for all of this as he is. The feeling of calm is stronger than the fear though, because in the back of my mind I know I’m going to give him the more that he wants. How one person can have all of these emotions at once is beyond me, but it is possible because it’s happening to me right now. Maybe I’m losing my mind? If I am going crazy, this is the best possible way to go that I can imagine.
He parks Scarlett in the empty side of the garage, and I notice that the other side is full of moving boxes.
“I thought you’d been here a couple of years. Have you not finished unpacking yet?”
“Those are from my mom’s place. Still not ready to go through it all, but I will soon,” he answers with a shrug.
He walks me through the house and explains that he had spent his years in the Marine Corps saving his money so that he would have a down payment to buy his mom a house. They had always rented apartments and he’d always dreamed of buying her a home. It turns out that all of his life, well after his dad died, his mother had been making small monthly payments to a life insurance plan. She wanted to know that when she passed, he was left enough money to take care of himself, and with her policy she did just that. With her life insurance he was able to pay for his house in cash and tuck all his savings from his years in the military away.
“I would rather have my mom with me, but it feels good to have had the opportunity to be in this kind of a place financially so early on in my career. I owe all of this to my mom.”
I wrap my arms around him and tuck myself into his side. I make sure he knows that his mom knows just how well he has done.
“Jonathan, you have to know how proud she is of you. She knows how great you’ve done and she’s proud. I know she is.”
He kisses me on the temple and says, “Thank you, baby.”
His house is large but all one level. He has a gourmet kitchen that is right out of a magazine. There’s a huge island and room for several bodies in the kitchen together at once. This is the perfect kitchen for entertaining. The kitchen faces a great room that has a wall of floor to ceiling windows that he says have a great view of Mt. Hood. It’s too dark right now to see anything past the amazing deck—with a built in fire pit that the back lights are shining on. This place is amazing. There is a butler pantry in the kitchen that leads to the formal dining room and living room. These two rooms are empty, and it’s clear he hasn’t had a reason to furnish them just yet. We pass back through the kitchen and past the front entry, that has a coat closet as well as a half bath, and head down a wide hallway.
Everything about the craftsmanship of this house is perfect. The wainscoting and dark wood floors are all of the best quality. It’s clear he had this built exactly as he had envisioned it. It’s perfect.
Down the hallway there are three doors on each side as well as one with French doors at the end of the hall. The first door on the right side of the hall is the laundry room. It. Is. Amazing. My mouth hangs open in awe at how perfect this room is. It’s a dream laundry room with new front loading appliances, tons of beautiful cabinets and a huge country style sink. He just gives me a little chuckle when I tell him I could live in this room.
Across from the laundry room is an empty spare bedroom as is the door next to that one but they are connected by a Jack and Jill bathroom. The second door on the right is a beautifully designed bathroom and the room next to that houses what he says is his “office”. It does have a desk with stacks of paper all over it, as well as other random things shoved here and there. This looks more like a catch all to me, but the desk does give the illusion of an office.
Next to the Jack and Jill bedrooms is another empty room that currently just has exercise equipment in it and isn’t being used as a bedroom. At the end of the hallway is the set of French doors that lead to the master bedroom.
This room is more Jonathan than any other in the house. The room is huge with a fireplace at one end of the room, and a huge king sized bed with a dark brown leather headboard at the other end. All of the furnishings are dark wood and the bedding is a simple beige. Under the window, there’s a dog bed for Frances. I have a feeling she sleeps on the bed with him more than she does on her bed on the floor though. She seems spoiled to say the least. The space is very manly, but also beautiful . . . very Jonathan.
Since we walked through the French doors of the master bedroom he hasn’t spoken. He walked into the room, turned on the fireplace and then just one low lit lamp. Next he plays with his phone and Kings of Leon starts quietly playing out of the little speaker on his dresser. He walks me through to the massive master bathroom that has a shower for two as well as a huge soaking tub. This house is what dreams are made of and I tell him so. It’s big, but not too big, and so well made and well thought out. It’s perfect . . . just like Jonathan.
Now that my tour is done, he walks me back to the bedroom and we stand next to the bed. He takes me in his arms and as our album plays we silently dance in the dark. We may not be on the beach, but we have the fireplace to set the mood. He really hasn’t missed a thing. The song ends and without speaking, he slowly undresses me, then himself, and we spend the next few hours making the sweetest love I have ever known. This night has been pure bliss.
I lay on my side next to him with one hand holding my head up as my other swirls over his new tattoos. Over his heart in small, intricate, cursive writing is his mom’s name, Caroline. Over on the bicep not already covered in his family crest, he now has a memorial to Matt. It is beautiful, yet somber. It’s a picture of a pair of a Marines boots with a rifle leaning against them and a helmet balanced on the top of it. There are also dog tags hanging down the rifle. It’s such a nice memorial, but heartbreaking at the same time.
Jonathan breaks the silence and finally communicates what this day was all about to him.
“Baby, I am going to ask you the same thing I did a little over five years ago. Do you want to make this work? You and Me? And yes, I know that means Ireland is a part of this, too. To me she is just an added bonus to an already perfect package. It doesn’t scare me away, Emily, not in the least. I’m putting it out there again and leaving it up to you. I want more, Gracie.”
Of course I want him, but it doesn’t seem like it can be that easy, can it? The fact that the one and only man I have ever loved has walked back into my life, and is offering himself up to me again just, seems too easy. Besides that, how will I put myself back together again when he leaves?
As if reading my mind, he speaks again after my silence doesn’t give him the answer he’s looking for.
“Gracie, I know you have been hurt and let down by men in your past, but baby, I’m not them. I know you watched your dad cheat on your mom, and then uproot your family by leaving, and it turned your world upside down. I can’t imagine how hard it was to watch him pick a new family over you, Mick and your mom. I know watching your mom’s heart break had to be unbearable, but baby, I’m not him. I’m also not that asshole that is missing out on a life with the most perfect little girl I have ever met. It’s his loss, and please don’t get me started on him because if I do I just may punch my fist through a wall, and I really like my walls just the way they are.”
I can’t help but chuckle at his last statement and to be honest, I agree with him, I like his walls just the way they are too.
There is only one concern he hasn’t addressed.
“What about Mick? He’s gonna kill you when he finds out that he asked you to watch over me and we’ve been having ‘sleep overs’ every night.”
“You let me worry about Mick. Besides, I think he cares about your happiness more than anything else, and I have no problem proving to him that I can make you and Ireland happy.” He pushes a stray hair behind my ear and searches my face for answers. He brings his pleading eyes back to mine and it’s obvious he’s scared to ask his next question. “Emily, is Mick really your problem or is that just an excuse you’re telling yourself because you’re too scared to say yes?”
I nod my head to answer him and in a flash he’s on top of me. His dimples are out in full force as he gently lays on me without putting all his weight down. He closes his eyes, and his face gets serious as he takes some cleansing breathes and says, “I cannot believe I am going to do this, but you leave me no choice . . . brace yourself, baby.”
He messes with his phone, and one of my favorite JT songs begins to play. He brings his lips to mine and gives them a gentle kiss, but as soon as the lyrics begin he moves those amazing lips to my ear and starts to sing quietly. He sings about healing my heart, and for me to stop acting like falling in love with him would be such a bad thing. He tells me he wants all of my nights and my mornings too. He also promises not to fill my head with broken promises.
He finally pulls back from my ear so that I can see his face. His face that is now gloriously beat red with embarrassment, and I have to say it is the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me. It was so romantic, just like the rest of the day and night has been. It was perfect, just like him, and when he starts to break into the chorus again, I can’t help but put my hand over his mouth and shush him.
