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Parachute
Jonathan
With our album playing through my ear buds, I’m running for my life on this damn treadmill. My eyes are burning as the sweat pours off of my head and down my face. I look down and see I’ve already run seven miles on today’s penance run. I’m sure I am pushing harder than the doctors would like, but I don’t even realize how long I’ve been at it. My mind is going a million miles an hour as I think about everything that Emily and I talked about last night. I’m still in shock at the way things went and the unwavering support she gave me even after my bullshit behavior.
Promising to never walk away from her again was the easiest promise I’ve ever made to another person or myself. My time apart from her was a misery I don’t ever want to experience again. I should have let her in. I didn’t, yet she still never quit on me. She texted and called every day . . . she left fishies on my front porch . . . she never gave up on me. I will spend the rest of my life doing the same for her, and proving to her that her trust and support was worth it.
I’ve known for a long time that I needed to talk to somebody about all the nightmares that still tend take over from time to time since losing Shell and Mom. I was in such a dark place. My nightmares didn’t only come while I slept, they were always on my mind. Finding Emily again gave me such light that I was foolish enough to think that she was the salve to all my problems; that life would be perfect just because she was in it. It’s true that it’s pretty damn close to perfect. But I still have shit to work through, and if it means going to a shrink so that life with Emily and Ireland can be that much better, then that’s what I’ll do. I could tell when I offered to go talk to somebody that she was relieved that she didn’t have to ask me to go herself. I think it’s been clear to everybody but me that I needed some help.
First thing this morning, I called Noah Caldwell to get the name of his shrink. I know it’s helped him deal with his shooting from last year. I already have an appointment for tomorrow morning. I haven’t been medically cleared to go back to work yet, and I really shouldn’t have anything to do with Emily’s case, but I can’t not try to help figure this shit out. No more sitting on my ass. Getting to the gym today was step two in getting my shit back together. I got my girl back, and now I need to make sure I keep her.
Offering to talk to somebody was hard, but not as hard as agreeing to slowing things down and not having ‘sleep overs’. I get it, I really do, but now that I have her in my life I hate to be away from her for even five minutes. I miss her when she’s only in the next room so agreeing to not spend my nights with her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
I get that she lives with her brother and she’s trying to be respectful. I really do get it. It sucks, but I get it. Right now she’s at her mom’s and she wants to be respectful to her as well. I know she doesn’t want to confuse Ireland, but what is there to confuse her about? I love her momma, and I’m not going anywhere, so she might as well get used to me being around. We will have to have a sleep over at my place soon or I may go bat-shit crazy. It’s not about the sex, I just sleep so much better with her there. I didn’t have a nightmare at all the week Mick was gone. I can’t say the same since the night of the wedding.
Between the sound of Kings of Leon in my ears, the pounding of my feet on the treadmill and my mind that won’t shut off, I almost don’t notice the sound of the call coming in. I look down and see that it’s from an unknown number. I almost don’t answer, but my gut tells me I should.
“Hello?”
“Officer Kelly?” says the scared voice on the other end of the line.
I instantly hit the STOP button on the treadmill, and hop off the machine and make my way to the front doors of the building. I have no idea who this is, or what they are going to say, but I know it’s about my girls. I just know it is.
“Yes, this is Officer Kelly, who’s this?”
“Uh sir, this is Jesse Miller. You came by my house a few weeks back. You said you were friends with Miss Jacobs?”
My heart drops to my stomach because I know this is the call we’ve been waiting for. I can’t let him know how important it is to me so I try my best to play it cool.
“Hi Jesse, how’s it going?” I try to ask casually and not like my sanity hangs on his every word.
“Uh . . . Officer Kelly?”
“I’m right here, Jesse, and please call me Jonathan.”
“Oh okay.”
“You okay, Jesse? Is everything okay with you and your brother? Miss Jacobs was real excited to see you in class yesterday. Glad you made it back to school, Jesse. That’s really great news.”
“Yeah, it’s great to be back, sir. Things are fine for me and my brother. I . . . uh . . . I called to talk about Miss Jacobs.”
I think my heart might actually burst through my rib cage any second as I wait to hear what he has to say. I want to pull the information out of this kid’s head, but I know I need to let him go at his pace.
“Okay, what’s up?”
“Well, I heard that she’s been getting some threats and that maybe somebody might have broken into her house?”
“Who told you that, Jesse?”
“Well, the person who says they’ve been doing it. Is it true?”
“It is, Jesse.”
“Shit.”
“Jesse, please tell me who’s doing this to her,” I plead to him as calmly as I can.
“I was really hoping it wasn’t true. Poor Miss Jacobs.”
