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Wow, it’s cold out here in this August sun. I must have been an even bigger asshole than I remember last Saturday. She isn’t being all warm and fuzzy, but she’s talking to me. I’ll take what I can get.
“Em, I just wanted to say that I am really sorry for being such a colossal jerk last Saturday night. I was shocked to see you and I had just had a couple of drinks and wasn’t really myself in that moment. So, I just wanted to say I was sorry.”
She takes a moment to think of her next words.
“Jonathan, I’m sure I probably deserve much worse than what happened Saturday night after the way I left things back in San Clemente. So, your apology is more than accepted.”
I feel the breath I was holding rush from my chest.
Oh thank you baby Jesus! She forgives you. Now ask her out or something you ass-hat!
“So, I was thinking that maybe we could meet for coffee or something. Not a date or anything. Just to catch up?”
Please say yes! Please say yes! I silently pray to whatever God will hear my plea.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, but thank you for the offer.”
Shit!
Fucking Alex!
“Are you with somebody?”
Please say no! Please say no! I once again beg the Gods above.
“No.”
Oh, thank God and everything that is holy! I feel like with that one-word answer, the course of my life has just changed and there is a light at the end of this long and treacherous tunnel. I know she didn’t say she still loved me or wanted to run off and have my babies, but it’s one less hurdle to get over. I don’t think I realized until this very moment how much I still loved her. I feel like my heart just started beating again for the first time in five years. I can’t get her to go to coffee with me but my heart is beating again and that’s a start! I feel energized and ready to do everything in my power to get her to change her mind and say yes to having coffee with me. Wait! If there isn’t anybody else, then who the hell is Alex?
“Who’s Alex, then? I just assumed he was your boyfriend.”
“Alex?”
“The other night . . . didn’t you say that he came down to California and rode back with you and Cami?”
With a little giggle she says, “Jonathan, Alex is a girl. She’s been friends with Cami and I since Jr. High. I can’t believe I never told you about her. She’s our other BFF. I just assumed you knew her. She just left with Cami.”
Oh, thank Fuck!
“If there isn’t somebody else then why can’t two old friends meet for coffee and catch up?”
She’s silent and staring down at the car keys in her hands.
“Emily?”
Still nothing. Shit, did I say something? This is not going well.
I take my forefinger and put it under her chin and slowly lift her beautiful blue eyes up to meet mine while I search her face for any clue that will tell me what is going through her head. “Emily, meet me for coffee. You pick the place and the time and I’ll be there.”
I remove my finger that is holding her chin up and instantly feel the loss of our connection. She looks at me with sad eyes, for what seems like forever, and then quietly she exhales. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
Don’t let her change her mind moron!
“Okay, it’s settled then. I know it’s August and a little warm for coffee but I guess we can get iced coffee if you want or a smoothie or something else. Whatever you want is fine by me.”
Shut up! You’re rambling! Just breathe, you idiot.
