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Emily shuffles into the kitchen, gets a coffee cup out of the cupboard and pours herself a cup. As she sips her coffee, she walks over to me and steals a piece of bacon off the plate on the counter and says thank you.
“Mommy, Jonafon did a sleepover!”
“He did,” Emily confirms apprehensively looking at me.
“Can he stay over again tonight? I pwomised him he could borrow a stuftie tonight if he sleeps over again.”
“We’ll see, sweetie,” Emily says to Ireland. She’s looking at me but I can’t read her face. I don’t know if she’s trying to tell me something or not.
“How do you like your eggs?”
“Scrambled please,” they both say together. It’s cute to see Ireland answer for her momma.
“Comin’ right up.”
As I finish cooking, the girls set the table—Emily still not able to comprehend that I’m still here, cooking her breakfast and Ireland bouncing with glee to have me here—and then we all settle in at the kitchen table and eat up. Ireland talks the entire time. There is a lot that she’s talking about that’s going way over my head but I just play along. At one point Emily catches my eye and mouths ‘sorry’ to me but I give her a wink back because there is nothing to be sorry about. I haven’t felt this light in years.
Emily helps me clean up the table and then I kick her out of the kitchen.
“I got this. You go finish your coffee and figure out what we’re going to do today.”
“You don’t have to stay, Jonathan, you can get back to your own life. We don’t want to keep you.”
She really doesn’t get why I’m still here.
“Darlin’ there is no place I would rather be.”
I love the hint of pink that lands on her cheeks after my comment. Just knowing I affect her is all I need to strengthen my hope that we can have more.
Skeptically she asks, “You sure?”
“Yep,” I say to her and then louder to them both I say, “So ladies what are we going to do today?”
“Let’s go to the zoo!” Ireland yells jumping up and down.
“Baby Girl, we really shouldn’t be out spending money. Let’s just have another movie day here.”
Not this again, Gracie.
She starts to fidget with her necklace and it’s clear she’s uncomfortable. I guess I need to make things clear like I did back in the day.
“I know it’s been a while, and maybe you have forgotten, so I won’t take offense this time. I will, however, remind you about something we talked about a long time ago.”
“What’s that, Georgia?” she says with just a touch of sass and I love it. Bring it, little lady. I’ll win this battle too!
I dry my hands off after putting the last dish in the dishwasher and walk over to where she’s sitting at the kitchen table. I grab the chair next to her that’s currently home to her sock covered feet, and turn it so that she has to put her feet on the ground in front of her. I face the chair towards her so that I’m sitting just inches away from her with my legs on either side of hers. My hands wrap around her legs and my thumbs rub back and forth just above her knee. Simply touching her makes me feel like anything is possible. Here goes nothing.
“When you are with me, you don’t pay. If I offer to take you somewhere, I will pay. I don’t want you to offer to pay or ever even think about paying me back.”
She tries to open her mouth to speak, but I simply shake my head slowly telling her now is not the time to protest.
Quieter, so Ireland can’t hear me, I lean in even closer and say, “Again, I know you know this but like I said it’s been a while so I think a reminder is in order. I take care of what is mine and before you freak out…I know you aren’t really mine. But when you are with me and we go places, you and Ireland are mine and I will take care of things. No talk of feeling obligated to me and no expectations, understood?”
She nods her understanding.
“Good, now I’m going to go home so that I can take care of Frances, take a shower and then I’ll be back. You ladies get ready for the zoo!”
I stand and get ready to leave while Ireland jumps all around the room singing about going to the zoo. Emily continues to sit motionless, seemingly in shock. I wish I knew what was going on in that pretty little head of hers but I learned long ago—growing up with just me and my mom—that women are a mystery we men will never completely understand. No matter what she’s thinking I hope she is starting to understand that I meant what I said last night. I am all in. The ball may be in her court, but I’m certainly going to be playing some offense to get her to come around.
