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Cami has been there for me every day since Jonathan’s shooting. She helped Mom and Mick with Ireland and then when Jonathan rejected me. Every day she has been there for me. She has let me cry on her shoulder, scream and rage over how angry I was that he was shutting me out, and most of all she has simply listened. In addition to my relationship woes, she’s been there through all of the threats that have started since I went back to work. She has been here every step of the way, just like she has been since that fateful day in elementary school. Turns out, her deciding we were going to be best friends, was the best decision anybody ever made for me.
There’s a gentle knock on the door, and it startles all of us.
“Hey, it’s okay. Mick probably just sent somebody over to ask some questions or to guard you or something. Don’t worry. You’re safe here,” Cami says as she continues to rub calming strokes across my back.
Devon enters the room and my heart instantly stops. No. Not now. Please tell me he isn’t here with bad news. Please tell me that Jonathan is okay. I can hear my mom whispering with somebody in the hall, and I assume that Gabby must have come with him.
“Devon, what is it? Is he okay? What’s wrong?”
He just looks at me, then takes a step to the side. Jonathan walks in behind him, followed by my relieved looking mom. The moment I see him, all the tears I’ve been holding in come flooding out and I burst into silent sobs.
Everything that happened this past week and a half comes crashing down on me in one fell swoop. From the scene at the wedding to Jonathan’s shooting, the high of Jonathan loving me, to his rejection mere hours later, to the radio silence that followed, the threats and now the break in.
Seeing him here and walking towards me causes my dam to break and the tears won’t stop. I knew I was stressed, but I had no idea how much I was truly holding in. I have always done my best in life to not need anybody, but I need him. I know this now.
I feel Cami get up from beside me as Jonathan comes down to his knees in front of me. He takes my face in his hands, like I love so much, and leans his forehead against mine. He whispers my sweet nickname that I have come to love and crave from him. I close my eyes and revel in the wonder of him being here.
After what seems like barely a second and hours all at the same time, he releases me and puts his hand on Ireland’s head and simply stares at her for a moment.
“Baby, we’re gonna have Cami take this sweet little princess into the other room, okay?”
I just nod my head, still not ready to speak. The tears have stopped, and I’m slowly starting to feel stable with Jonathan in my presence, but I’m still not okay.
He stands. Cami approaches us and gives Jonathan a hug and thanks him for coming. She bends down and as she takes Ireland from my arms she whispers in my ear. “I knew he’d snap out of it. He’s here and he loves you. He just needed time. It’s gonna be okay, chica. It’s. Gonna. Be. Okay.”
She stands with Ireland in her arms, and she and my mom leave the room. Devon must be outside because I don’t see him anymore, and it seems we’re now alone.
He’s on his knees in front of me and is as close to me as he can get. His body is pressed against my legs and his hands are rubbing up and down my arms as if he is trying to warm me.
“Talk to me, baby. Devon gave me the basics, but I need you to tell me what’s been going on? I’m here now, honey and I am so sorry for everything. We’ll talk about all that later, but right now I need you to fill me in and tell me everything you can.”
32
Jonathan
God, even in the shittiest of situations, being near her and being able to touch her again is everything.
She is my everything, and I cannot believe that I shut her out.
I am a selfish bastard.
I really am.
Emily is always so strong and determined. To see her look so defeated and in so much pain was something I have never seen before, and I hope to never see again.
I haven’t been there for her.
It’s almost too much for me to bear.
Not only did I break her heart because I shut her out, but she had finally trusted me enough to love me and let me love her back. But I was so involved in my own self-pity that I wasn’t there for her when she needed me most. I couldn’t even be bothered to answer my phone or return a text.
Enough.
This selfish bastard routine is over and it’s time to take care of my girls. Right now I need to focus on finding the piece of shit that is doing this to them, and then I will try my damnedest to earn back her trust and love. For now, I have to figure this shit out.
It has to be somebody at the school. As soon as Blackburn was out on watch, the notes on the car and in the classroom stopped. She had gotten one strange text before the shooting, but the entire week she was out of school—waiting on my sorry ass to let her in—there were no threats. But they started again the day she went back to school. It has to be somebody at school that would have her number. We are going to have to interview everybody that she has given her number to.
All of this is running through my head as I pull up to Mick’s house. There are several city cars here, and I’m relieved to see that everybody is taking this seriously.
