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“Chica? Why don’t you let me take her and lay her down in the other room?” Cami asks from beside me on my mom’s couch.
I know she’s trying to help, but I just can’t seem to let her go. Ireland is fast asleep in my arms after falling asleep in the car on the way here. We were on our way home after a big day of running errands when Mick called and told me to come to moms instead. I can’t stop replaying the phone call in my head on a constant loop.
“Hey, Mick, what’s up? Did you think of something you needed me to pick up while I’m out?”
“Emmers, where are you right now?”
“We’re in the car about five minutes from home. Why?”
“Sis, I need you to head to mom’s.”
“Why? Mick, did something happen?”
He sounds somber when he says, “Mom’s fine, but I don’t want you and Ireland at the house right now.”
“Mick, is everything okay? You don’t sound okay.”
“Emmers…they got in the house.”
“What do you mean? Who got in the house, Mick?”
I don’t understand him. It’s like he’s talking in code.
“Whoever is messing with you, Em. Em…I came home and Frank was sitting on the front porch because the front door had been left open. I went into the house and nothing was taken, but when I got to Ireland’s room…Em…they messed up Ireland’s room. It’s bad.”
I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut and all the air in my lungs escapes me. I can’t breathe.
On a whisper, I manage to say, “What?”
“I am so sorry. I hadn’t gotten to turning on that alarm system yet, sis. When I find who did this I am going to make them wish they were never born. Trust that, Em. This is going to end now,” He hisses.
“How do you know it’s the same person who’s been threatening me?”
“Em, they left a note in your room. It’s the same person. It says basically the same thing all of those damn text messages from the last week have been saying. Now, go to mom’s because I don’t want you guys to see this. I have detectives on their way over. We’ll get things cleaned up as best we can before you come back. Where did you get Ireland’s bedding? I’ll see if I can replace it with the same thing so it isn’t so obvious to her.”
I can’t even reply to him. It’s so bad that he has to replace Ireland’s bedding. What have I done that is so wrong that my baby girl deserves this?
“Em, you there?”
Shit!
I need to snap out of this.
I have a little girl to take care of. If the last week or so of my life is any indication, I’m on my own in this world except for Mick, Mom, Alex, and Cami. I need to get my head right and work with Mick and do whatever he says.
“Yeah Mick, I’m here. Her bedding is from Target and I think it’s one they always have in stock, but I can go get it. You don’t have to do anything else. It’s my fault your house was broken in to. I don’t know what’s going on, Mick, but I am so sorry.”
“Stop it, Em. This is not your fault and that will be the last time I hear you talk like that. Listen, get to mom’s and I’ll call Cami and have her meet you there, okay? We’re gonna figure this out, sis. I won’t rest until we do. Detectives are here, so I got to go. Love you, sis, and call me if you need anything or if you get any more messages, okay?”
“Okay, Mick. Thanks.”
That was an hour ago.
Now, here I sit, perched on the edge of my mom’s couch with Ireland draped across my lap. I can’t seem to sit back and relax into the couch. I’m sitting on the edge feeling like I’ll need to jump up and protect my baby girl at any moment.
Cami’s gently rubbing her hand up and down my back and trying to soothe me with reassuring words. I think she’s worried because I haven’t said anything in the last hour. Nor have I cried or had much emotion at all. I’m just holding Ireland and staring blankly ahead.
I know that my silence is freaking Mom and Cami out. I heard Cami on the phone updating Alex, and I could hear the worry in her voice. But I can’t speak. I feel like if I talk I might lose it. But I am a mom and I don’t get to lose it. I have a little girl in my arms that needs me to keep it together.
