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“Did you play some part in that?” I ask.
"I know about it," he finally responds, his voice low and measured. "But I had nothing to do with it."
His words still don’t settle the unease within me. "The police said that the Mob was involved," I say cautiously, my eyes searching his face for any sign of deception.
"Cosa Nostra has a code, Ella. There are rules we follow, principles that guide us. It's not in our interest to harm innocent people." I absorb his words, skeptical yet wanting to believe him.
"But the authorities..." I begin, my voice trailing off as uncertainty clouds my thoughts again. What if he’s bluffing? I look in his eyes to look for the lie. I see… honesty.
Tommaso's gaze meets mine, unwavering. "The authorities see what they want to see. And, in this city, there are those who respect the code, and then there are rogues who bring chaos. I won't deny that." I wrestle with the conflicting emotions.
“And–” he stops midway and leans back.
“And?”
“Nothing.” He says calmly. On the one hand, the reassurance that he wasn't involved provides a bit of relief, but on the other, the acknowledgment of the existence of rogue and violent elements within the mafia introduces a new concern.
"Why does it have to be this way?" I finally voice the question that has been haunting my thoughts. "Why the violence? Isn't there another way to operate?" He sighs, and for a moment, the weariness in his eyes makes him seem more human than the powerful figure I've known till now.
"It's a fucked up world we live in. Not everyone adheres to the principles we follow. There are power struggles, rivalries, and sometimes, violence becomes the only way to deal with it."
A shiver runs down my spine as the harsh reality of his words sinks in. "But what if there was a way to change it? To break this cycle?" I see him frown, now annoyed by my questions. I need to know, Tommaso. You have to show me that you’re not a monster.
"It's not that simple. The world doesn't change overnight, and trying to dismantle a system like this comes with its own risks. It’s impossible." I feel sick again.
"I don’t want to be here. I want to go back."
He looks at me ironically. "I never wanted you close to this. But you saw that side, first. You are here because of you."
“You fucking kidnapped me.” I feel angry and pathetic.
He doesn’t answer, and silence settles between us again. I grapple with my fear, the desire for freedom, and a strange yearning for understanding. "I don't have a choice, do I?"
His gaze softens, and he leans back. "You have a choice. A choice to comply with me. A wise choice." Wise? Yeah right.
“I can’t promise you a way out if you don’t understand the system and why I do what I do.”
"Then what can you promise?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper. I feel my tired eyes getting teary.
"I promise to keep you safe if you listen to me," he answers, in a softer tone, a tone I haven’t heard before. Everything feels out of place all of a sudden. Me at his house. In his dark world. Perhaps, he’s right. I got myself tangled in this. I glance out of the window, wondering if there's a way to navigate through this darkness without losing myself. I sit there, absorbing his words.
“I am tired. I’ll sleep now.”
I get up, my head feeling heavy and walk towards the guest room, my sanctuary in this golden cage I am being held captive in. Before I leave, I turn back to him.
“Tommaso?”
“Mmh?”
“Can I ask you a big favor?”
“What can I do for you?”
“My flat mate will be worried sick about me. Could I have my phone for five minutes to write a message?” I ask him. I have been thinking about Reed since I got here. He must we freaking out with me disappearing into thin air like that and not sending him any news at all.
“Don’t worry, Ella. I asked Frank to call your house and for the office to let anyone who is looking for you know that you were sent last minute to cover an assignment on a silence retreat for a colleague who fell ill. Obviously, there is a no-phone policy, and any other forms of communication are forbidden for the entire stay.” Of course, he thought about everything. I feel my stomach clench. I miss home.
Chapter Twenty-One
