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“Mmm-hmm,” she breathes, nodding with her eyes closed. “More than okay. Can we do it again?”
I stroke her soft cheek, unable to resist touching her. “Soon.”
“Why not now?” she asks, reaching down to stroke my hard length, her call picking up its pace at the contact. I grunt and pull her hand off, setting it gently on her hip. If she keeps doing that, I won’t be able to say no.
“I think you should rest first,” I say. “We should make sure you’re okay.”
She narrows her eyes before jolting up to a sitting position. The silver dawn light makes her skin appear even paler than usual, her hair translucent and gossamer.
“Are you scared you’ll break me, Noah?”
“Maybe.”
I turn on my back and stare at the ceiling, my thoughts reeling. Now that I’ve had her, my head is clearer. Less jumbled. There’s no denying she’s my mate. My omega. But it doesn’t change the fact that Hetty’s been a beta her whole life. There was never an indication that she was anything else.
“How do you think this happened?” I ask, not taking my eyes off the ceiling. “Did you ever have any idea that you were…” Different. Abnormal. Not a beta. None of those words are the right things to say, so I say nothing.
She flops down next to me, moving to her side and curling close again. Immediately, I start touching her. Toying with her hair. Rubbing her silky earlobe.
“That seems to be the question of the hour,” she mutters. “I guess I always knew I was different. There was something in me that wasn’t in other betas. I called it…”
“What?” I urge, chucking her under the chin.
“My ghost,” she whispers. “This thing inside me … a feeling. It always made me feel different. Weird.”
“You are different,” I say gruffly, turning over so I’m facing her. “But the special kind, not weird.”
She shrugs. “Maybe I’m both.”
I smile, rubbing her soft cheek with the pad of my thumb. “You know my father would … use betas,” I admit roughly. “For sex. I remember finding him with one of them… He hurt her, and I think she died.”
Her eyes widen. “Who? Someone at Sage House?”
I nod but don’t elaborate.
“So, is that why you were so cruel to me?” she asks tentatively. “You were worried I’d die if we…?”
I nod, sliding my hand down the gentle curve of her waist. I feel a shiver run through her body at the contact, her eyes fluttering.
“Well, I’m fine,” she says with a wobbly smile. “So, it was all for nothing.”
“It was still selfish of me,” I admit. “To come out here, find you, and do what we just did. I could have killed you, but I did it anyway.”
“No,” she starts, shaking her head. “That’s not true.”
“It is,” I say gruffly. “You could have…” I trail off, unable to put a voice to my thoughts.
She reads the words behind my eyes, though, and presses her fingertips to my lips. “I survived,” she whispers darkly. “And even if I thought there was a chance that I wouldn’t have … I still would have done it.”
“But what if you’d died?” I ask hollowly. Just the thought causes something angry to revolt in my mind. If I’d killed her…
But Hetty’s smiling, her eyes bright. “I told you I’m not afraid of death, Noah,” she admits casually. “And you shouldn’t be either.”
I thrum my fingers against her hip and exhale. “Well, I’ve never been as brave as you, Hetty Nigrum.”
She quirks a smile as she reaches down to take me in her hand again, saying huskily, “Few are.”
This time, I don’t push her away, releasing a low, agonized groan as I fall onto my back.
