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“No promises. Bye.” She ended the call, then pinned me with red, bloodshot eyes. “I’m going to kill you.”
I sat up straight, digging the bases of my palms into my eye sockets.
“Can we fuck first?” I asked gruffly. “I’d like to go with a bang. All puns intended.”
“No.”
“Thought I’d try. What did I do this time?” I reached for my pants. I only slept in my briefs, which meant Poppins normally spent her mornings bumping into furniture while trying desperately to stare at the floor and avoid getting an eyeful of my morning wood.
Her thumbs flew across her phone screen now. She turned the device around and thrust it in my face, almost breaking my nose in the process. “Thishappened.”
I was looking at a YouTube video of our engagement scene in the subway from the day before. The resolution was crappy, but our faces were recognizable to anyone who knew us. The caption of the video read:Surprise Proposal on NYC Subway!
“So?” I shoved my legs into my faded Dickies. I tried to ignore the hangover-like headache that was hammering rusty nails into my brain.
“Look at the number of views, you wanker!”
Squinting, I could now see the reason for her rage.
“Six million.” I whistled. “Guess we’re a power couple now.”
“You know what it means?” She collapsed on the edge of the couch and sat closer to me than she normally would, a sure sign her guard was down. “My parents are going to see this!”
“Not necessarily. Boomers don’t do well with technology.”
“This was featured on two morning shows. My phone has blown up with TV people wanting us to give an interview.” She hit refresh.The view count turned to six point two. I patted the side of the couch, retrieved my phone, and frowned at it. There were two missed calls from Emmett.Bingo.
“Just tell them the truth.” I turned to Duffy.
“Mum and Tim are not even my biggest concern.” She shot up to her feet, then returned to her towels and Lysol for another round of scrubbing the counter. “What if BJ sees it?”
“Isn’t he on an electronic ban while in Nepal?” She’d mentioned something about that the other day, while I was knee deep in trying to tune her out.
She licked her lips, nodding. The thought must have encouraged her. “I suppose he is, but when he comes back—”
“When he comes back, he’ll be too busy begging for forgiveness to give a crap. It’s not like we shared a passionate kiss. I’ve gotten more action from my aunt during Thanksgiving dinner.”
“Ew, perv.”
“Just kidding. I don’t have a family.”
“Wait, what?” She paused, looking at me with her big purple eyes. “Are you serious?”
Yes.
“Point is, there’s nothing overtly incriminating in the video.”
“Ugh.”She poured bleach into the sink. The scent hit my nostrils, making me want to throw up. My headache was out of control this morning.
I got the idea to go viral when I saw how Duffy’s video with Gretchen had made waves on the internet. I thought it was a nice way to redeem her pride, and—let’s admit it—the quickest, most efficient way to show Emmett that I had a fiancée. Only I hadn’t taken into consideration how bad she was going to take it.
Because you’ve never considered anyone else in your entire life.
Also, because I wasn’t privy to her past scars. To being ridiculed by other students. Getting the wrong type of attention.
“Hey. Good luck with the interviews,” I told her retreating back.
She drifted out of the room, taking her Duffy scent and Duffy wit and Duffy everything with her.
