AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Four Tylenols and a chain of curses later, I made a call to Christian. The man had a bevy of people at his disposal who knew how to get shit done. He’d hooked me up with a colleague of his, who assured me that for a suitable amount of money, I could get the video taken down from YouTube. Once he’d found the owner of the account, he was able to send them an offer they couldn’t refuse. And they didn’t.
The video was removed from the site an hour and a half after it was loaded. I had no intention of telling Duffy I was the reason her ass—and imaginary relationship with Cocksucker—had been saved. It would cost a normal person an arm and a leg to do what I’d done.
She sent me a text not even two minutes after the video was taken down.
Unknown: They took the video down.
Me: Who is this?
If I couldn’t fuck her, I could at least fuckwithher.
Unknown: Duffy. Who else do you have a video with?
Me: See, this is why I asked you if you ever watched porn. I’m kind of a big deal.
Unknown: Hilarious. Program me into your device.
Me: Done.
Duffy: So? How do you think it happened?
Me: I clicked on your number, then info, then create new contact. I thought you youngsters knew all those things.
Duffy: I meant the video.
Me: IDK. Maybe the person realized it was an intimate moment.
Duffy: Or maybe it went against YouTube’s policy or something.
Or maybe I paid the YouTuber an entire annual salary to do it.
Duffy: Job hunting is going rubbish in case you were wondering.
Me: How come?
Duffy: I’m either overqualified or too nuclear after my viral showdown with Gretchen.
Me: You’ll figure it out.
I put my phone down and tended to the very important task of taking a shower and masturbating to a mental image of my fiancée. When I came back to the phone, there was a message waiting from Duffy.
Duffy: Would you like me to lick something when I get back today?
Me: Don’t play with my tender feelings. You were the one who said no hooking up.
Duffy: *pick.
Duffy: I meant food, you uncultured swine.
Me: More of your rainforest greens? Nah, I’m good.
Duffy: We could always eat something else.
Me: YES.
Duffy: I mean strictly food items.
Me:
