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Without thinking, I grabbed his biceps, keeping him close to me. I needed him to just…listen. To hear the dirty details about my life and see that we were doomed from the start.
If he thought that was bad…
A thick ball of saliva settled in my throat. I swallowed it down with effort, feeling a prickling behind my eyes.
"I'm…I'm not done," I croaked.
"Felicity, you don't have to." His expression was pained, his voice hollow.
"I do." I nodded as a tear slipped down my cheek, then another. "I was so angry, so fucking angry. I got into my car and drove off without any idea of where I was going." The memory was still fresh, almost as if I was back there again, watching in horror as he drove into the faceless woman. I hadn't looked at her face. I'd been too busy focusing on where their bodies joined.
My lips trembled, but I forced myself to keep going. "It was dark, and I'd been crying, and I didn't see the pole before driving into it, just narrowly missing a car carrying a family.
"I…killed my baby. I was reckless and stupid, and because of me, my baby died." I broke into cracked sobs, holding my hands in my face. It didn't matter how many years passed. The pain was still very real, and it grew stronger with every passing day. "I woke up one week later, and the doctors said I was lucky to be alive. I'd lost so much blood..."
I felt Aaron wrap his arms around me. This was it. This was my retribution. The reason I woke up every day and found a reason to hate myself.
"It wasn't your fault," Aaron whispered, and I thought I had heard his voice crack. "If anyone should be blamed, it is that fucking cunt who was so selfish that he thought the best way to get rid of the baby was to hurt you so terribly."
No. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to make me feel better. "It was me who drove the car. I should've been more careful."
"You were hurt and weren't thinking clearly. It could have been anyone. And fuck, you almost died, Felicity."
My head snapped up to look at him, stupefied. "Why aren't you blaming me? Why aren't you looking at me with disgust in your eyes? I did much worse than your mother."
Aaron growled, grabbing me by the shoulders as if he wanted to shake life out of me. "Don't you ever compare yourself to her. It was an accident. She chose to be a terrible mother. Huge difference."
My heart lurched, and a puff of air escaped my lips. This man…I needed him.
The realization hit me like a bucket of ice. I needed him in ways words failed to convey. How was it possible that I'd bared my heart to him, led him through the dark depths of my mind and soul, and he'd followed me eagerly, not once offering any kind of judgment?
I didn't allow myself to think about it. I reached forward and pressed my lips to his. He was the only person I could do this with. Open up so freely.
I was probably the most insecure person in the world. Yet, Aaron looked at me like I was otherworldly and beautiful.
He returned my kiss, pulling and tugging on my lips before pulling away. "Baby, fuck, we can't. You're vulnerable right now."
I shook my head. "No, I want this."
An uncharacteristic sheen of disbelief covered his face. "You've been crying."
"I want this," I repeated confidently before connecting our lips again. It was then I remembered we were still naked. His erection instantly jumped to life between us, pressing against my stomach.
His hands landed on my waist, tugging me impossibly close as he kissed me fervently, brutally. As long as he was touching me, I could never go under. I could go to war with a thousand armies and even fucking win.
I could pretend I wasn't empty and damaged.
I could take over the fucking world with Aaron's hands on me.
Anything.
Because Aaron was the only one who knew how to make the demons go away, even if temporarily.
He groaned against my lips, and the vibration sent shudders through my body. I traced my lips over his jaw, trailing my fingers down his neck to pinch his nipple.
"Fuck, do that again,” he panted.
I did, and I was very impressed with myself when he let out a growl. He was so devilishly attractive that he could have anyone, yet he was here with me—Jesus.
