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All I could manage was a small, sad smile. "You're hurting. I understand, and I truly feel sorry for you. But it doesn't change the fact that you're a horrible person, and Aaron deserves better."
She obviously hadn't expected those words because her face visibly paled, and her eyes blinked furiously. "Fuck you. I don't need your pity. You can go to Hell. Let's see how sorry you feel when Daddy hires me."
She didn't give me an opportunity to respond when she turned and walked away briskly. I momentarily stopped there, wondering if she knew how bitter she was.
It was one thing to experience jealousy over another person. It was another to sabotage the person's means of livelihood because you thought they had something you wanted.
I'd meant the words. I truly felt sorry for her, and I hoped she healed.
"Felicity."
I turned around to see Aaron behind me. How long had he been standing there? I couldn't read his expression.
He inched closer to me. So close that his bergamot scent filled my nostrils and consumed my thoughts.
"I'm sorry about Jade," he said.
Shakily, I took a step back, breathing in fresh air. "You don't have to keep apologizing. It's not your fault."
He reached forward and grabbed my hand. "Baby—"
I jerked my hand back, keeping my gaze on his chest. It hurt to even look at him. Everything hurt.
"I know you heard me say to her that you deserve better. And I meant it. You do deserve better." I swallowed down the thick saliva that had gathered in my throat. "Everything that happened with Jade brought me to a new understanding. I'm not better, Aaron. I can't give you what you want."
A long second passed. Then he growled, "Look at me, Felicity. Look at me as you tear me open from the inside out."
The tears in my eyes made it difficult for me to see. "I'm sorry."
With a finger under my jaw, he snapped my head up to look at him. A distinct anger brewed in his eyes, and it terrified me. "You're a coward."
It stung, but I told myself it was for the greater good. "Maybe, but at least I'm a coward who can protect her heart."
He clenched his jaw so hard I feared his teeth would break. He removed his finger from me, shaking his head in what I perceived was disappointment. "I thought whatever was holding you back stemmed from your little spat with your father, and maybe from that stupid cunt you were with. I can see now that it's all you. You're the one holding you back."
He took a step backward, then another, bringing Arjun, Maddy, and Jeff into view. They were watching us with a weird kind of interest. I couldn't find it in me to care at that moment—not when Aaron looked at me as if he'd given me the world and I'd thrown it back in his face.
One helpless tear fell down my cheek. "You're probably right. I've seen too much hurt to go down that road again."
Aaron scoffed, throwing his hand up in frustration. "When will you understand that shit happens? You're not the only one that has been fucked over. Do you know how many fucking people get heartbroken every day?"
The tears were falling with alarming alacrity. "I'm not them. I can only feel my pain."
He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. His eyes lacked that fire burning in there a second ago, and my heart squeezed at the thought that this was it. I'd finally pushed him to the edge.
"You're absolutely right," he said. "Just like I can only feel mine."
I felt him pull away from me. It was suddenly cold. "Aaron—"
"I'm tired of begging you to love me. There is nothing remotely romantic about it. I was going to wait for you. I swear to fuck, I was going to." He released a humorless chuckle that felt very much like a knife had been lodged into my chest, and the assailant was twisting wickedly. "I was going to fucking wait on the hope that one day you would see that I'm the only one that has loved you more than half of the way you deserve to be loved. But I see now that I was only grasping at straws."
Someone made a sound. I couldn't tell who it was because my eyes were fixed on Aaron. I said nothing because what could I say that would make it better?
"So, yeah. Take care or whatever. I'm done."
I would have given anything to wipe that look of utter defeat from his face. Anything at all. The only thing that stopped me from reaching out to him was the heart-wrenching realization that he was too good for me.
Aaron was kind and generous—I'd never seen him disrespect anyone. Even when he found out that Jade was behind the leak, his calm composure was evident, and he'd still spoken to her with a certain level of respect.
