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He was also incredibly talented and had a bright future ahead of him. My father would waste no time and spare no cost in squashing him if he ever found out we were involved.
And if he had any sense of self-preservation, he would walk away.
However, when he started toward me, hope stuck in my throat that he didn't mean any of what he said and was just angry. He neared me, and in a spur-of-the-moment, I reached out to hold him, but I only managed to grab air.
It was a few seconds before I realized that he'd walked past me.
Eyes wide, I staggered back with the force of the hurt that gripped me. A sense of immense loss settled around me, as well as something akin to fear.
I feared that Aaron was right about loving me and that I deserved to be loved.
Fear that I might have just condemned myself to a life without love.
But what about him? How couldn't he understand that he deserved to be loved the right way, too?
A fully committed relationship was a two-way street. What if I couldn't love him half as good as he deserved? What if, along the way, my doubts and fears got the best of me, and he realized too late that he'd wasted his time?
As much as I cared for him, I couldn't bear to have him hate me, just like Jeremy had. It would really kill me this time.
I'd endured so fucking much from Jeremy. I couldn't do the same for Aaron.
Tears streamed down my face. I told myself that this was for the best, but why did it feel like it was anything but?
Fuck.
"Come here." Maddy pulled me into a tight embrace, and I cried on her shoulders. It felt like all I had been doing lately was crying—pathetic, big, fat tears.
Maddy rubbed my back. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
Her voice was low enough that only I could hear it. Arjun and Jeff were no doubt already judging me to bits in their minds. When I tried to find them with my eyes, though, they weren’t there.
I shook my head once the crying reduced, sniffling so I could speak. “It’s what’s best.”
Maddy broke the embrace, gripping my shoulders to look at me. “For you or for him?”
For both of us.
Her expression was full of pity, and I hated it.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I frowned.
“Like what?”
“Like I just made a mistake.”
Maddy didn’t respond, leaving me feeling like I actually did. She, too, wouldn’t understand. It was impossible to get hurt by someone when you didn’t give them any power over you.
“I’m trying to protect him.” Why didn’t anyone understand that?
Maddy smiled softly, but I didn’t like the look in her eyes. “Do what makes you happy, Felicity. Not what you think will make others happy.”
She gripped my shoulders one last time before walking away.
I stood there for an unhealthy amount of time pondering over her words.
Do what makes you happy…
That was pretty hard to do, considering I had no fucking idea what happiness was. A new job? A new house? Family? Good friends?
