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And I only got to have him for one night.
Not even a full night.
One mind-blowing, body-sizzling sexual encounter that can never be topped.
Over the past week, I’ve been working my way to acceptance. Trying to let go and not let that asshole make me cry anymore.
The lying pig was never gonna call me, and he should have fucking said that when I was writing my number on his hand.
But he didn’t, and so I held out hope, then turned into a whimpering wreck. And I hate that I’ve allowed him to do this to me. I will move on. I’m determined to not let that walking dick take up any more of my headspace.
There’s just one really big problem.
And no amount of determination is gonna get me out of it.
“Please come to the party with me.” Lani walks back past my bed, adjusting her hoop earring and looking so freaking hot. She’s gonna score tonight. If that’s what she wants.
My eyes travel down her body, taking in that sexy red dress. It fits her like a glove, only just covering her ass. She’s a curvy girl with brown skin and an exotic appeal. Her family is originally from Hawaii, but they moved to Colorado when she was like eight.
I think her mother misses the ocean big-time, but they’ve made a life for themselves in Colorado, and now her dad can’t live without the mountains. They live in Silverton, which is miles from here, so Lani only gets home for the longer holidays. When she’s really craving a decent home-cooked meal, she comes with me to Boulder, where my parents lavish us with more TLC than I can handle.
I glance at my phone again, willing them not to call. As much as I love my parents, they can never find out about my hookup with Casey… or any of the other guys I’ve slept with since I’ve been at college. They’ll never understand my desire for sexual exploration. It’s not like I’ve slept with half the campus or anything, but I’ve definitely discovered my body since getting here, and it’s been fun.
Sure, sometimes I come away feeling kind of empty or icky… but not with Casey.
That was the ultimate hookup.
The only one I ever really wanted.
The one I naively thought I could turn into more.
Shit. Shit. Shit!
“Hello! Earth to Caroline.” Lani’s bracelets clink together as she waves her hand in my face. “Did you hear me?”
“Uh…”
“Come on. No moping tonight. You have to get up and get yourself back out there. You told me you were moving on, so prove it.”
My face bunches, sweat beading the back of my neck as I picture walking into a party and trying to act like I want to be there.
Lani clasps her hands together, looking ready to drop to her knees. “Come on, I’m feeling sexy and hot tonight. I need my wing-woman to help me find the right guy.”
“You do look hot.” I give her a half-hearted smile. “You’re not gonna need me to find a guy. They’ll be lining up around the block, believe me.” I point at her dress and wiggle my eyebrows. “Your boobs look fantastic, your butt looks incredible, and I will only be deadweight, seriously.”
Tell her. You should tell her why you’ll be deadweight.
Fear coils in my belly.
I can’t! Not until I know for sure.
“You, my gorgeous friend, are never deadweight. You’re always in the mood for parties loaded with hot guys. Please. It’s at the football house. Their parties rival the hottest fraternities at this school. You know they’re always lit. Lots of sexy jocks and good dancing. Some muscly football player can whisk you off your feet and show you a good time. Maybe he’ll help you forget about the walking cockhead.”
I make a face.
“Or Ben might be there.” Her eyes light up. “I know he’s Mr. Basketball, but there’s crossover at these parties all the time.”
My eyes narrow into a glare. “Would you stop? I’m not into Ben. I told you that.”
