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“I don’t get it.” Her face bunches with confusion. “He’s a nice guy, and he’s obviously into you.”
“He’s not the guy I’m interested in.”
She groans. “Ugh. Would you get over that hockey asshole already? He didn’t call you back. He was never going to. And I know he’s your longtime crush, but you need to turn what happened that night into a beautiful memory you can cherish. Don’t let it ruin your life. Don’t let him stop you from going to parties with me and having a good time!”
I swallow, refusing to look at her as I fidget with the chunky ring on my pointer finger.
After a thick beat of awkward silence, Lani lets out a sigh and perches on the edge of my bed beside me.
“I get it.” She runs her hand down my back, soft and comforting. “Casey Pierce is the guy you’ll always want, but he’s a one-hit wonder. Ben’s been looking around campus for you. He’s a keen jellybean, and I know that if you ever gave him your number, he would call it. A lot.”
“I don’t want him to call it, okay? He was a drunken mistake, and I just want him to forget he ever met me.”
“Highly unlikely. You’re gorgeous.”
My lips twitch as I attempt to smile. But I can’t.
Shit. Will I ever smile again?
Nerves rocket through my body, but Lani is oblivious to the reason why as she gives me a sideways hug and starts begging again.
“Come party with me, pretty girl. Please.”
“I just really don’t feel like it.”
With a huff, she lets me go and stands, her heels clipping on the floor as she paces to her bed. “Well, I do. I wanna go.”
“Then go.” I flick my hand at her. “We don’t always have to do everything together. Fly solo tonight. There’s bound to be people there who you know, and I’m sure you’ll find some hot guy to shake your booty with. Or you might even score yourself a sexy little hookup.” I force my eyebrows to wiggle while my lips try to form a playful smirk.
Thankfully, she blushes and doesn’t seem to notice how much effort I’m having to put into this teasing right now. She’s obviously in the mood for some loving tonight, and it’s helping to distract her.
Lani’s not one to sleep around too much. She’s not a virgin, but she’s very selective about who she lets in between her legs. There was her boyfriend from high school. They dated for like a year but broke up after graduation, not wanting to do the long-distance thing. And then there was Ted from her economics class. He hung around for a few months before she broke it off over political differences. After that came her one and only one-night stand, which she decided she didn’t like, and since then, she’s been holding out for the right kinda guy. She’ll scour this party tonight, hoping to make a connection that will no doubt start with some mild flirting, a date or two so she can test the guy out, then decide if he’s allowed to get freaky with her.
Although, by the looks of that dress, she’s desperate for a little physical action tonight. Maybe she’ll break her “no one-nighters” rule to get through the dry spell she’s been having. It’s been at least six months, as far as I’m aware.
“You’re gonna have an awesome time. Find the hottest guy there, shake that luscious booty of yours on the dance floor, get yourself some sexy action, and tell me all about it when you get back.” I try to give her an encouraging smile, but she still looks kinda glum as she snatches her purse, shoving her phone into it before waving at me.
“I guess I’ll see you later, then,” she mumbles, walking out the door without another glance.
I feel bad.
I should go with her.
But I can’t.
Like, I just… I can’t.
Standing on shaking legs, I try not to think about the reason why as I grab my wallet and phone, shoving them into the back pockets of my jeans before heading out the door.
I shuffle to the drugstore, walking like I have weights tied around my ankles.
The glass door looms in front of me, the bright lights within making it feel like my own personal torture chamber.
Wandering down to the correct aisle, I spot the stack of pregnancy tests and feel my stomach convulse.
I don’t want to do this, but I’m late.
And I’m never late.
