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CHAPTER 48
CASEY
The air in the room is thick with something… tension or sadness, maybe. Whatever it is, I’m not loving it.
Fucking Ben. Why’d he have to show up and make my girlfriend all sad?
I want to be pissed with him, but a small part of me actually pitied him as he walked out the door. He looked like a dejected giraffe.
“You okay?” I rub my hand up Caroline’s back and give her neck a gentle squeeze.
“Yeah, I just feel… bad for him, guilty that I used him like that.” She winces and shakes her head. “I was horrible to him.” Then she turns and looks at me with those big blue eyes. “I was horrible to you. I just screwed this whole thing up so monumentally, and I hate that I hurt people.”
She looks about ready to cry, so I pull her closer, squishing the flowers between us.
“Oh.” She steps back with a little gasp, then mumbles something about water.
I rest against the edge of her bed while she finds a glass in the bathroom and fills it. She takes her time arranging the flowers and then sets them on the edge of her desk.
I glare at them, hating that Ben thought of something so sweet and romantic. Flowers didn’t even occur to me. Shit, he probably is a better choice for her. But she went and chose me. I still don’t get why, but I’m pretty determined to be the man she needs right now.
“How’s your body feeling today?” I reach out and take her wrist, gently tugging her toward me.
She comes with a sad smile, perching on my lap and looking down at me.
“I’m okay. Still feeling kind of bruised on the inside. Still swinging from relief to guilt to sadness.” Her eyes start to glisten as she shrugs, like she’s trying not to make a big deal of this.
I kiss her cheek before resting our foreheads together and whispering, “You lost your baby. You’re allowed to feel whatever the fuck you want right now.”
She lets out a soft, watery laugh, then sniffs.
I lean back to look at her. “So, you’d really decided to keep it, huh?”
“Yeah, my parents were making it sound like a good idea, and then as soon as you told me it was yours no matter what, I had to.” She leans back, holding my face and forcing me to look at her. “I couldn’t deny the world a boy or girl with your DNA running through their veins. They’d be so talented and good-looking.”
I grin, cupping the back of her head and kissing her. “They’d be funny and sweet and smart. So fucking smart.”
My answer pleases her, and she drapes her arms over my shoulders, playing with the ends of my hair as she smiles at me. “I know you don’t believe this, but you’re going to make an amazing father. I just know you are. You’ll be funny and adoring and invested.” She gives me a smile—the kind that says I love you—and I have to kiss her again. I need her to know the truth now.
Pressing our lips together, I hold her close, desperate for her to feel what’s going through me.
I don’t deepen the kiss or try to make it anything more than what it is.
Caroline’s not allowed to have sex while her body recovers from the miscarriage, but even if that wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t be pulling those moves right now. I need this kiss to be only that, because I need her to know that she’s so much more than my sex buddy.
She’s become everything.
Pulling back, I look into her eyes and murmur something I never thought I’d say. “Next time, it’ll be ours. There’ll be no doubt, because you’re mine and I’m yours, and there’s no sleeping with random people anymore.”
Her beautiful lips pull into a grin. “You want to have a baby with me one day?”
I smile up at her. “Baby, I want to make a family with you. I want to have a whole bunch of kids. They can have your red hair and big blue eyes and those cherry lips.” I kiss them again, then pull back to drink in her pretty face before kissing her once more.
She starts to laugh against my lips, and I swipe my tongue inside her mouth for a deeper taste. She’s addictive and delicious, so I pull back before my sex-crazed body does something stupid.
She’s too hot. That’s the problem.
I nearly say that to her, wanting to hear her laughter, but there’s something else I gotta say first.
