Page 194 of June First

She found him.

June found him for me.

Squeezing the worn, stuffed toy in my hands, my tears dampen his gray fur. He looks the same as he used to, only dappled with blotches of bleach from where stains were removed.

I bend over to pick up the note, remembering there was a final paragraph at the bottom.

My eyes skim over the remaining words.

PS:

He’s had plenty of baths,

So he shouldn’t be smelly.

But for more of the story

Contact Aunt Kelly.

All my love,

Junebug

Still trembling, I reach into my pocket for my phone, set Bubbles on the kitchen counter, and snap a photograph. I send it off to June with the following message:

Me: I love you so fucking much it hurts.

She reads it right away and texts me back.

June: How much? :)

Me: To the moon and back.

June: That’s not enough…

Me: Over the rainbow and back again.

June: That’s better.

With tears on my cheeks and my heart in my throat, I think about that final note card I read from the shoebox, and I send June one final message.

Me: We’ll fly over the rainbow together one day. Just you and me. I’ll wait for you, Junebug. I’ll wait forever.

I’ve always put June first.

She’s always put me first.

And I hope,

I pray,

I beg,

That someday…

We’ll finally be able to put us first.

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