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“Quick and efficient,” I say sternly.
“The sequel.”
I shake my head and laugh. The attitude is entertaining, at least.
“I’m just saying, it’s false advertising,” he grumbles after a second. “Like those shots of hotels in tropical paradises, and then when you go there it turns out the place is surrounded by mountains of garbage because human beings are the worst.”
“Aren’t you just a ray of fucking darkness.” I reach out my hand and pat his knee. “I’m so glad I get to tie myself to you for the foreseeable future, otherwise I might start to think life is good.”
“What the hell gave you that idea?”
I park the rental in front of the town hall and look at him. “You know, you should count yourself very lucky for nabbing me,” I say thoughtfully.
It’s a good thing I don’t suffer from low self-esteem, because the look he sends me is very much unimpressed.
“How do you figure that?”
“The way it usually goes is a hot person marries a person who has money. You get two in one.”
He stares at me for a moment before he narrows his eyes.
“You’re saying you’re pulling double duty here? The fuck, dude? I’m a catch.”
“Never said you weren’t.”
“No, no, no,” he says. “This is not how this goes. It’s not you doing all the work. You’re the devious, rich one. I’m the dumb, pretty one. We’re both pulling our weight. Your brain might not be fluent in male hotness, but I’ll have you know I’m hot.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, throws himself against the back of his seat, and stares straight ahead, eyebrows in a grim line, jaw set sternly like he’s just made his point.
“Yes, yes, you’re very pretty,” I say placatingly.
I throw a thoughtful look his way. I guess he is. Handsome. I might not swing that way, but I can be objective about this. His dark brown hair is slightly longer on top and shorter on the sides. He’s got a narrow nose and sharp cheekbones one of the girls I dated in high school said were “to die for.” But the most exceptional feature of his face is the icy blue eyes. So light it sometimes feels like he can see right through you.
“Damn right, I am. It’s not like I don’t bring anything to the table,” he says indignantly. “It’s your own fault you don’t appreciate the goods.”
I chuckle and shake my head. Yeah. The whole package comes with a side of attitude that keeps most people at arm’s length. I’ve always found it sort of refreshing, though. You can count on Lake to be straightforward to the point of blunt. He’s also very much unimpressed by me most days. He doesn’t give a fuck if I’m a star athlete or a generational talent, or whatever other idiotic things people have called me over the years.
This sounds stuck up as fuck, but on campus, people tend to treat me like I’m somehow a big deal, and while it’s not exactly unpleasant, it also comes with expectations and pressure and occasionally a layer of insincerity.
But Lake? He doesn’t give a shit.
As if on cue, he lets out another disgusted huff. “Ready to do this crap?”
I press my palm to my chest and let out a dreamy sigh. “Just what one wants to hear on their wedding day.”
He flips me off, and I laugh.
“Come on. Let’s make you the happiest man in the world,” I say.
“You’re supposed to say ‘make me the happiest man in the world.’”
“Yeah, but mine is true, so it works better.”
I’m starting to think Lake was right in being skeptical, and choosing this particular town wasn’t the best idea. Not because the town isn’t nice. It’s fine. Very small-townish, which admittedly has its charm, even if I don’t really understand why anybody would want to live in the middle of nowhere, but I’m not here to judge.
It’s just that people are very friendly. Which is a nice way of saying nosy as fuck. The place is just a tiny dot on the map, so all official business is conducted from the same building. By the time we get our marriage license taken care of, word that something is going on has spread like wildfire. When we walked in here, the building seemed pretty much empty. Now there are a lot of people lurking around. The line to the water cooler is snaking down the hallway, and Lake has his head so far down I’m beginning to think I should take his hand to prevent him from walking into a wall.
I feel like a circus monkey.
