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“Kind of defeats the purpose of me being a decent fucking option when he was trying to get me to cheat on my girl to do it.” My tone was surly, but warranted and Ratchet must have known that.
“Didn’t say the dipshit went about it the right way. Just saying, him pushing his sister on you is why no one would think twice about kicking you out over what happened.” We sat in silence for a few minutes while Ratchet did some thinking and I tried to calm my thoughts. I could have been kicked out over this shit. I might have lost the club because I couldn’t’ keep my dick in check.
“You know you have some tough choices to make now.” My head bobbed in agreement of its own accord while I thought about those choices and inwardly groaned over how everything might play out.
“Your girl comes back tomorrow?” He asked.
“She does.”
“How do you think she’s going to take this news?”
“Not well,” I answered honestly.
“If she was the understanding type, do you see it lasting between the two of you?”
“Before she left, I had a few doubts, but they were all things we could work through. Part of the problem was that she’s still in high school, living with her parents who are aways in her ear about me, the club, and money.”
“Those fuckers don’t even know how much scratch you can earn,” Ratchet chuckled. “You might one day have more than the asshole who I have no doubt is skimming from his account holders.”
That was news to me, but there was no need to comment on whether June’s father was a criminal too. Even in that, we weren’t equals. Real crimes versus white collar crimes didn’t equate. Sure, everyone went to prison when they were caught, but even those prisons were different a lot of the time.
“So, assuming your June accepts that shit happened while she was away and the two of you stay together, how do you see that playing out for your kid?”
“I don’t know. According to Kim, she won’t allow me to have my kid around June, so that’s an obstacle.”
“She can’t stop you from living your life or seeing your kid, if that’s what you mean. Not unless your girl gives her reasons she can take to court. Kim seems pretty adamant that would be the case. Why would she think that?”
I blew out a frustrated breath because her feeling that way was all my fault. “The night I fucked up with Kim, I unloaded one of my worries about June. Told her about how cruel June could be to people she felt were in her way or beneath her.”
“Then I’d say Kim has valid concern, considering that shit came from the horse’s fuckin’ mouth.”
“Yeah, but I would never allow her to speak to my kid that way.”
“Gonna clue you in on how life works. You’re on a run, years from now, leave the kid with June because it’s your fucking weekend or whatever, and come back home from that run to find she’s been a complete cunt to your kid. Maybe just yelling at it, or maybe going a step further and laying hands on your child. What do you think Kim’s gonna do?”
“Kill her, and then me, for leaving our kid with June and allowing it to happen.”
“Does that scenario seem likely?” When I didn’t answer, Ratchet shook his head. “Take your love for the girl off the table and go with what you know about her when you’re not around to see shit go down. Now, does that seem likely?”
“I don’t know. I’d like to think that she wouldn’t behave like that with my kid.”
“But you’re not sure.” It wasn’t a question. Ratchet was trying to make me understand that even that sliver of doubt should have been enough to help form my decision.
“Son, I know your parents weren’t the greatest examples of how to take care of kids, but you have a different heart than they did. That baby isn’t here yet, so it’s harder to think in abstracts and what if scenarios, but I’m telling you now, the minute you hold that baby in your arms, it will become the most important thing you’ve ever done. Your instincts are gonna kick in and any threat to that kid is gonna trigger a reflex.”
He lit up a cigarette and took a deep pull on it before staring at me and blowing the smoke back out. “You can fuck around, hope for the best, where your girl is concerned, assuming she sticks around after finding out.” He bobbed his head and took another drag. “Might work out, probably not. The thing you have to realize is by trying to stay down that path, you’re shutting doors elsewhere.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You like Kim. Seen you watching her. Hell, Son, everyone with eyeballs knows she’s a better fit for you. Not trying to push your decision here, but the thing you have to understand is you’ve already done damage to that girl, whether you meant to or not. Your fuckups, and the shitty follow up on them, are forgivable. What won’t be is you sticking shit out with June and coming crawling back to Kim when that shit doesn’t work out.”
“So, you’re saying whatever I do now, determines what I’m able to do in my future, too?”
“Exactly. We only get one fucking shot at some things in life, Tripp. If you feel anything for Mack’s sister, you might want to really think about how you want this to all play out, or you’ll lose a good one there.”
“I’ve been with June for three years.”
“Sometimes, time has a way of blinding us to the truth.” He cocked a brow knowingly. “Was with my first wife ten years longer than I should have been. Bargained that the time we already put in was worth trying for more.” He laughed at that before taking another pull off the cigarette. “Dumbest fucking thing I ever thought. She wasn’t worth the time it took the ink to dry on those divorce papers and I lost my daughter because of her shit. Don’t want to see you lose yours the same way. Feel me?”
