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I nodded my head and really thought about where Ratchet was coming from. I was a lot younger when things went down with his ex-wife. He tried to stick things out when she went off the rails and ended up getting their daughter killed in a car accident while she was completely wasted. She’s in prison because the cops found her first. Otherwise, I think Ratchet might have killed her himself. Not that I could blame him.
“You think June could be like your ex?”
“I think women get just as territorial as men, and June ain’t even a woman yet. She’s still a little girl trying to play grownup.”
“I’m only a year older than her.”
“You’ve lived different lives in that time. She’s pampered, spoiled, and according to you cruel to people who get in her way. If what that little girl wants is you, who do you think looks to be in her way?”
I didn’t want to think June would be that way toward Kim or my child, but Ratchet had a point and I had too much to fucking think about before she got back tomorrow.
“Take off the rest of the day. You had a lot dropped in your lap with very little time to process shit before things come to a head. Get your head on right and know that I’m here to talk if you need it.”
I stood to leave and got all the way to the door before Ratchet stopped me again. “One more thing,” he said as he stood too. “Kim is carrying a club baby; her brother will be a full member soon just like you. That means she will always be welcome to family days along with your child. If you plan on sticking with your girl, know that Kim will be treated with the same respect given an old lady on the days she’s allowed here, whether you claim her or not. If you bring June in as yours, you better teach her our ways because I won’t tolerate her disrespecting other family. Kim’s gonna have it hard enough doing everything on her own.”
“You act like that’s the only outcome possible.”
“See it in your eyes, Son. You’re gonna be stubborn about shit and hate to think what you’re losing as a result, but that’s the choice you have to make as a man. I can’t hold your hand or make it for you, much as I wish I could.” He was thoughtful for a minute and then he grinned. “When’s the last time you been by to see Bubba?”
“I haven’t seen my brother in a year, since they moved him.”
“Might want to go take a trip to see him then. Think maybe big brother could shed some light for you.”
My brother and father were both pinched a couple years ago, after one of the club’s shipments went missing. They took out five members of a street gang in Atlanta, and unfortunately for them, some tourist was filming video and happened to catch the whole thing. Being a good Samaritan, they turned that footage over to the cops and news channels.
Neither of them had been wearing their cuts when they went down, so nothing much was able to blow back on the club, especially since my family swore up and down they were just trying to clean up the streets and take the gang members out, so they’d stop killing innocents. It played well to Joe Public who wished they could be vigilantes and dole out justice, too. It didn’t save either of them from going to prison for the rest of their lives.
Bubba was twenty-four when he went in and would never be given the luxury of falling in love, having kids, or making a mess of his life in the same way I had. He was all the family I had left, outside of the club. I wondered what he would think of the shit I’d managed to get myself into. Then again, I already knew what he would say. June didn’t fit. Kim did. It would be a forgone conclusion as to which woman to choose. No one was willing to account for the three years I’d spent loving June, though. That shit didn’t just turn off.
Chapter 10
June
“Your parents are going to flip if you try to run right over there to see him,” Anna reminded me.
“They should have known this would happen. I haven’t seen him since I left at the end of May. I’m not going to sit around and wait another damn three days to be able to finally go see Tripp.”
Anna shrugged her shoulders. “Do you want me to come with, or run interference here?”
“I don’t think you should come.” I blushed knowing that after months of being celibate, Tripp was going to need to have sex. It wasn’t always the greatest between us, so I could do without. Tripp was a boy and they thought with their penis more than their brains, though.
“So, basically you want to be able to get lucky?” Anna waggled her brows playfully at me. She enjoyed sex or claimed to. I didn’t know if it was something I was doing wrong or what, but it just never felt great. There were a few times when it seemed to be getting better, but then something would startle us, and we’d have to hurry to finish.
Well, he would finish, and I faked it to make him feel better about it. I always figured we would have time to make it better for each other when we weren’t always sneaking around to have sex. Eventually, Tripp would get his own place, instead of staying at the stupid clubhouse, and then we could explore a bit more.
“You better get out of here before they see you,” Anna reminded me.
It didn’t take long to get to the clubhouse. When I made my way to the gate, nerves ran rampant in my stomach like awful little butterflies whose wings cut stinging, tiny marks into me rather than just fluttering about wildly. It was almost a mixture of dread over seeing him again and anticipation. What if he didn’t want me anymore? It was a question I’d asked Anna so many times while I was away this summer. If my parents hadn’t stopped me, I would have been back home by mid-June.
“Help you?” A rude voice asked as I pulled up to the gate. I glanced up to see Mack scowling down at me. The man hated me for some reason. The first time we’d met he had taken one look at me and rolled his eyes at Tripp. The worst part was, Tripp had shrugged his shoulders, as if he knew whatever Mack was judging me for was true, but he didn’t care.
“You know why I’m here, open the gate.”
“No can do,” Mack insisted. “Prospects aren’t allowed visitors and I wasn’t given a head’s up that anything changed on that front today.”
“You can’t be serious,” I told him. My temper started to flare. “You dirty fucking biker piece of shit,” I seethed through clenched teeth while keeping my voice low enough not to be overheard. “You will open that fucking gate right now because I haven’t seen my boyfriend in months and that’s about to change.”
“Oh, shit is definitely about to change.” The grin on Mack’s face caused those butterflies in my stomach to rip larger wounds open in there. If I didn’t get to see Tripp soon, I might bleed out before it ever got to happen at all.
