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I wince. “Can you not keep reminding me he’s your dad?”
“I’m sorry, I think I’ve earned that right.”
I sigh. “Fair.”
“So, what’s the verdict?” Nate observes me. Then Edwin. “Is this…happening?”
Edwin leans on the plastic footer of my bed. “I don’t know, Nate. What do you think after I’ve been in her hospital room for three days now?”
Nate nods. I’m surprised he’s so levelheaded about it. “Sonia?”
I hold my breath for a second.
I don’t know if I’m ready for our love to extend into the real world, for everyone to know.
But then again, I’m not sure I have that luxury when our relationship has been so taboo and complicated from the beginning.
The ground is steady, Sonia. You won’t be swallowed whole.
“I think I love him.” I clear my throat as my voice breaks a bit. “I mean. I know I do.”
Edwin’s eyes are steady on me. “I love her too.”
Nate laughs through his nostrils. “Ew.”
Laney jabs him on the arm. “Manners, Lyons.”
“I mean, it’s gross. This situation is gross. And weird.” Nate takes a deep breath. “But I…I believe you two, that it had nothing to do with me.”
Though he made a lot of mistakes while we were together, Nate always had a kind soul. He can self-reflect better than anyone I know. Must be something about being one with the water and all the surfing.
I hope he doesn’t lose all of that while being in that chair.
“Believe it, Nate.” I reach out for his hand. “I promise.”
Nate takes my hand and squeezes. “Okay, Mom.”
“Ew! Ew, ew, ew!” I shake my head and wave my arms. “That’s gross.”
Edwin scrapes his hands over his face. “Nathan.”
“I think I have a right to a few jabs now and then for at least the next year or so.” Nate shrugs. “But all of this is to say, regardless of how weird it is, I just want you to know I’m okay with it.”
Laney pats his shoulder.
“Thank you, Nate.” I smile. “Thank you so much.”
“Call me crazy, but I just want you two to be happy.”
I glance at Edwin. The rims of his eyes are red.
I smile. “How far we’ve come, huh?”
“Helps when you realize what life is all about, doesn’t it?” Edwin smiles back.
I wish I could shout to the world that you shouldn’t wait for a near-death experience to give away all the love in your heart.
Give it all away as soon as you feel it. Even if it feels wrong, even if it’s strange or confusing. Love is worth it. Love changes everything. And if people turn away, they are the ones with the problem, not you. Because there is nothing wrong with loving.
