AllFreeNovel
Share Us
No, I’m not okay.
“You’re hyperventilating.”
Am I?
“Shit, you’re having a panic attack, aren’t you?”
Nate is much closer than I remember him being only a minute ago. “Nate, please–” I squeak.
“What happened?”
“Nothing. Nothing.” Everything is the real answer.
I finally told Mason the truth. That it was all my fault. That my relationship ending is the reason I don’t have any fucking friends and I keep everyone at arm’s length. That our relationship ending is the reason why my life has been the same for the past three years except for these six months that have pushed me off the deep end.
How can I trust myself after all of that? More than that, I’m not sure I deserve to trust myself anymore.
Nate reaches a hand toward me.
“Please, Nate, please don’t touch me, I–”
He freezes, stares at me with his big blue eyes.
I want nothing more than to shred myself into ribbons that can’t be pieced together. I want to erase the past six months. Want to erase my whole life.
“Laney, you need to breathe.”
I try to take a few breaths, but I can’t. I can’t breathe. I can’t–
“Sit down. Let’s just sit down.”
Nate holds his hands out toward me like he’s going tograb me but doesn’t. Just braces them in the air as he lowers himself down to the floor so he’s sitting.
That’s enough to encourage me to follow. I slide down the door until my butt meets the cold marble.
“That’s better. Why don’t you press your hands to your chest and just…” Nate puts his hands against his chest and breathes. “Like that.”
I follow suit. I can feel my throbbing heartbeat in my chest, but with each purposeful breath, my pulse grows slower, more sustainable. “Oh, my god.”
“That’s it…good girl.”
I close my eyes. I remember being called a good girl by both Mason and Nate at the same time, how I had my mouth on Mason and Nate inside me and how good I was. How meant for it I was.
I miss it. I really do.
But I can’t help questioning it.
My eyes land on Nate’s slacks again. “Why are you wearing that?”
“Huh?” He looks down at himself. “Oh, yeah. Office clothes. Yuck, right?”
I giggle despite the chaos inside me. “Not yuck.” Not at all. They suit him wonderfully.
I can see the luscious edges of his body. Of course, though, he could wear a brown paper bag, and I’d still be flustered over him. “You look nice.”
Nate runs a hand through his shaggy blond hair, then sighs. “I’m going into the office this afternoon. Just a half day. Try things on.”
I frown. “The office?”
