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“I’m sorry,” Joel whispered. “I can’t control my mouth all the dang time.”
“Well, you need to start. We spoke to you about punishments, Joel. I think you need one, but Damon wanted us to make the lists first.”
His foot was banging on the underside of the table, and I ground my teeth, Damon noticing. “Joel, stop.”
“Y’all think I’m bad at this, huh?”
Damon took his hand, holding it on top of the table and for the first time, I saw Joel’s face, and he held his emotions there. My heart broke wide open and I realized, maybe for the first time, that he was tough, sure, riding bulls, but he was also tender. He had a very fragile heart.
“Joel, I’m sorry. You didn’t know, and that’s on me. I’m supposed to teach you and guide you through this. You’re the one that’s new to the lifestyle.”
Damon agreed, adding, “And we will. We swear.”
“I don’ wanna piss y’all off! I really do…ya know, I…”
“Us too, Joel. So, what say we make these lists, and then make dinner. I’m hungry.”
“Sure thing,” he said, then looked at us in turn. “Am I…ya know, livin’ here now?”
That was a question I should have been prepared for. I was dropping balls all over the place. “Well, that’s up to you. We’d love you to be here all the time, when you’re not home or at Noah’s, but we thought you were living with your mom to help her out.”
“Nah, she don’t need me. She’s down to a couple hundred head o’ cattle, she got a boyfriend, hands. I was tryin’ ta save for my own place, but…”
“Then, yes, Joel. But on a few conditions. Staying here, with us, you’re not a servant, more than to serve our needs as your Dom.”
“Eli,” Damon explained, “He was in a bad relationship with that Harvey guy.”
“I knows it. He tol’ me.”
“That’s not us,” I promised. “You can stay here, you can leave, and you will help us around here, no more than what we do, no less. We are partners first, remember.”
“Y’all tol’ me that. Ya meant it?”
“Yeah,” Damon affirmed with a smile. “Of course. Equal, that means, you’ll work at the club too, and anything you do around here, you’ll share in the profits, of all of it.”
“We ain’t makin’ money here.”
“Not yet, but the club might, and Burke and I have jobs, so we’ll start a checking for you, that’s just yours. We’ll add to it every week, like Noah does for Joel. It’s a safety net, that’s all.”
He glared at us for a moment. “I got money. I don’ need y’all’s. I got five grand in the bank right now.”
I was surprised, but I shouldn’t be. He worked at Noah’s, at home and he rode bulls. “Okay, well, you can keep working for Noah and Eli, and help out your mom, but if you can’t or don’t want to do those, you’ll make money here, just like we do.”
Damon, however, stuck his foot in his mouth. “And you don’t have to ride bulls anymore. You’ll have money.”
I closed my eyes, waiting for the explosion and it came. Joel scrambled off the bench seat and stood, glowering at the two of us. “Is that what this is?”
“No,” I told him. “I swear!”
“Burke, hold on,” Damon argued. “I’d rather he didn’t!”
“We can’t stop him from doing what he loves, Damon.”
Damon’s eyes flashed at me, and I saw it there, how he called me the worrier, but he didn’t want Joel anywhere near the bulls.
“I love it! Y’all can’t make me quit! Please!”
After cutting his eyes from me, he saw Joel, saw him pleading, and he was shaking. Damon lost his anger quickly and went to him, promising, “We won’t, as long as you don’t get hurt.”
