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“I literally picked her up an hour before I called you.”
After she places Grace on the floor beside a toy that looks like a xylophone, Sara follows and plops down beside her. That’s when I see it. This beautiful little girl has a cleft lip. I almost didn’t notice, mesmerized by her big brown eyes that captivated me with a mischievous glint, despite her bashfulness.
“I haven’t changed my mind or anything. I guess I just hadn’t prepared myself for the transition. Having two needy girls so close in age.” Kat looks on the verge of tears.
Reaching for her, I pull her in for a big hug. “Babe, you’ve got this. You’re a natural. Look how well you’ve done with Grace. That child was born premature, fighting for her life. And now she’s taking on the world.” I laugh. We both look over at the sweet girls on the floor, cautiously interacting with one another. “And Sara must’ve taken to you right away, the way she was clinging to you when I got here.”
Kat grabs her teapot, placing it under the faucet to fill with water. “I think she would’ve done that with anyone. That’s how I met her. Clinging to the caseworker that way.”
“Do you know anything about her?”
A frown mars her pretty face. “Not a lot. Unlike a lot of the kids in the foster system, she’s available for adoption. Her parents terminated parental rights almost immediately.”
Looking over at Sara, this makes my heart ache. “Do you think it was because they couldn’t handle another child? Or because…” Turning my back to the girls, I point to my face.
“Not sure. But you can’t help but wonder.” Kat stands a little taller as she watches something behind me. “Gracie, you need to share. Let Sara have a turn.” She turns back to me with a wearied expression.
“She’s two, Kat. Haven’t you seen that toddler T-shirt? What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine.” I giggle.
“I guess you’re right.”
It doesn’t take long before the teapot starts to squeal loudly, and little Sara comes running. She collides with my leg, squeezing it tightly.
Bending down, I scoop her up and say, “Shh. It’s okay, Sara. It’s just the teapot.” Kat holds it up so she can see. “It makes that noise when the water gets hot, so we know it’s ready.”
Kat fills two mugs with steaming water and carries them over to the coffee table. As I drop Sara down to her feet, I reach out and playfully tug at a light brown ringlet of hair, and she smiles. Even with the deformity, her sweet expression warms something in me that I didn’t realize was missing.
Broadie and I knew the odds were stacked against us when it came to having biological children. I had accepted the fact this might be a dream I had to let go of long before he came along. Yet, I admit I was hopeful once we were married that a miracle might take place. He manages to accomplish the impossible. So why not this?
But I didn’t want to allow myself to become fixated on getting pregnant. I’d seen the effect it had on so many women. The depression. Especially in a line of work where you’re surrounded by so many women. Many of whom have no difficulty conceiving. I didn’t want to feel envious of my peers.
We’d discussed the possibility of IVF, surrogacy, or adoption, but wanted to give ourselves the chance to conceive naturally first. Plus, our lives had been full just accommodating to married life and spending quality time with Broadie’s girls.
“Can I tell you something? Without you thinking I’m nuts.”
“Kat, I need to tell you something too.”
She looks concerned. “Oh, you go first.”
“I already think you’re nuts.”
She cackles, causing both girls to turn and start laughing too.
“Nick wasn’t sure about how this was going to go. He was worried I was going to get too attached to these children. That I’d want to adopt them all.” She takes a sip of her tea. “I’d never admit it to him. But there’s a part of me that thought he might be right.”
“I could see that. You’re a born nurturer, Kat.”
“Thank you. I feel a little guilty.” She seems embarrassed.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t have that feeling with Sara,” she whispers.
I turn, finding the sweet little girl reaching for different toys scattered near the blanket they’re playing on, handing each to Grace. “Well, maybe that’s a good thing. So you’ll be able to help more kids without getting too hurt at having to let her go.”
“No.”
My head snaps back to Kat. Is it because of her cleft lip? I’d never think that would matter to Kat.
