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Plopping down on my couch, I release a jagged exhale. “I just got some bad news. It has nothing to do with him.”
“Poppy. What is it? Is it your mom?”
The tears pick up. There’s no way I can share any of this with her over the phone. Kat will likely never be able to understand what I’m saying over my sobs. “Mom’s fine. I just can’t talk about it on the phone.”
Kat grows quiet for a moment, and I wonder if I’ve lost the connection. “Poppy, I’m coming to get you.”
“What? No.”
“You sound awful. And I don’t want you there alone. Do you have to work tomorrow?”
“No.”
“Okay. Pack an overnight bag. If there’s one thing about this house, it will bring you peace. You tell me as much or as little as you want, but you’re not staying huddled up by yourself in that house anymore. I’ve kicked myself for years for not being a better friend after Dan died. Don’t suffer there alone.”
She’s right. Not about not being a better friend. But the last place I need to be right now is here. Constantly reminded of his painful deception in the place where I gave up everything to care for him. Day in and day out, took care of his every need. All the while, he hid his double life from me.
“I’ll be there to get you in an hour. Okay?”
“Okay,” I whimper into the phone. Hanging up, I drop my face in my hands. Please, Lord. Let her be right. Please. Let me find some peace.
* * *
Sitting across the kitchen table from Kat, I feel hollow. She looks as stunned as I felt listening to Gavin share everything with me earlier.
We’d traveled the distance from my home to hers in silence. I wasn’t ready to dive in. Plus, seeing little Grace kicking her legs in her car seat made it difficult to concentrate. Her daughter was so full of smiles and exuberance, it was an odd juxtaposition to how I was feeling.
Once Grace was down for her nap, I slowly warmed up to commencing the conversation. I had to stop on occasion, overcome with grief. But my sweet friend took my hand and tried to offer comfort, even in her shocked state.
“First, I think you should call Dr. Miller on Monday because this is way beyond my pay grade.”
A sarcastic chuckle escapes me. “I get it.” She’s probably right, if I ever needed someone like Dr. Miller to help, it would be now.
“I’m struggling to wrap my head around all of it, Kat. It doesn’t feel real.”
“I know. I wasn’t married to him, and I’m flabbergasted. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now.” She takes a sip of water. “God, Poppy. I was so envious. I thought you had it all—a great job, a great guy, traveling everywhere. Then, when Dan got sick, I felt terrible for being jealous. For all you were enduring to care for this brave man.” Kat pauses. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d never wish ALS or anything like it on anyone. But to think you were the sole breadwinner, rushing home to send the nurse away so you could care for him. And all the while, he was keeping this from you.”
Looking out the window toward the lake below, I feel numb. So lost in what is real versus the version of life that was spun for me. “I have more questions than answers right now. But the one person who can give me what I need…” I bite the inside of my cheek, hoping to prevent the return of more tears. He had every opportunity to share this with me. He chose not to. For years and years, he thought lying was the answer.
“Poppy. I’m simply playing devil’s advocate here. But are you sure this young man is on the level?”
“What possible reason could he have to visit Dan’s grave and tell me all of this? He looked as if the very act of sharing this story was painful for him. He even drove me home.”
Kat grows quiet. “But that’s just it. Could this be some setup? Like he’s trying to convince you that he’s Dan’s long-lost son so he can get access to his life insurance or retirement somehow?”
Clearly, after everything I’ve learned in the last twenty-four hours, it’s not a stretch to think I may be naïve. Yet, I never once felt suspicious about anything he’d said.
“Like, now he knows where you live. What if—”
The front door bursts open, and Nick unexpectedly comes through. “Hey, hope you’ve got room at the table for one more tonight. Look who called and wanted to come by.”
Kat looks up and smiles. “Hey, Gavin.”
“Gavin?” I blurt, jumping to my feet.
“Poppy?”
“How do you two know each other?” Nick asks.
