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“I’m glad we could. Tell me what brings you here.” His face reflects my anguish. I’m glad this isn’t the first time I’m seeing him. He’s established the fact he knows what he’s doing here. I can relax and empty my worries onto his desk, knowing he’s trained to give me the very best advice. Then, ultimately, it’s up to me what I do with it.
“I guess I’ll just dive right in.” I clear my throat, willing myself to stay strong. I’m tired of sniveling. And my face hurts. “I’d noticed a young man loitering around my husband’s headstone at the cemetery.”
Dr. Miller shifts uncomfortably in his seat. I raise my hand, sensing where his mind has gone.
“He didn’t hurt me.”
His face instantly relaxes.
“Not physically, anyway. He claims to be my dead husband’s son.”
Dr. Miller sits quietly with his hands steepled together like he did in the past when he wanted me to continue. So, I do.
“As best I can tell, it appears my husband fathered this child during a breakup we’d had in college. At least, that’s the way I calculate the timing. But instead of letting me know what happened, he continued to be in this child’s life, while leaving me completely in the dark. The young man says when he was a boy, Dan would visit every few months. But this stopped abruptly around the time Dan became wheelchair-bound.”
“Wow. That’s quite the revelation. Do you believe this young man?”
“I have no reason not to.”
Dr. Miller nods. “While I’m here to help you deal with the emotional aspects of uncovering such information, I still recommend you get a DNA test. I think enough has been hidden that you should encourage him to at least confirm it once and for all. If nothing more than to protect yourself.”
“From what?”
“If you were unaware of a son, there might also be some monetary provision set aside by your husband you know nothing about. Or this boy may simply feel he’s entitled to something.”
“You’re probably right. I’ll look into that.” I pause before adding, “I can’t explain it, Dr. Miller. My inclination after all of this is to not believe anything anyone says. Yet, I believe this young man. And I don’t think he’s looking for anything but answers. And, as it turns out, he has good references.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He’s a friend of Kat and Nick Barnes. Nick has known him for years. He was assigned as his ‘big brother’ with the Big Brothers, Big Sisters organization. Now that he’s eighteen, they consider him family.”
“Small world.”
“Well, that’s Hanover for you.” I give a cynical chuckle. “Small towns.” I shrug.
“It appears to me that you’re handling this quite well.”
“Ha!” I shake my head. “Looks can be deceiving. I think I’ve cried long enough I’m numb to a lot of it now, which is how I handled losing my husband. Given that took me nearly eight years to come to terms with, I thought it best I see you this time.”
Dr. Miller gives me a Hollywood-worthy Matthew McConaughey smile. Jeez, could they be related? I can’t believe Katarina never asked him. I mean, I wouldn’t put it past her.
“I appreciate this is a lot to learn about your spouse. Especially when he’s no longer available to answer the questions you have.”
Wiggling my finger at him, my conversation with Katarina comes to mind. “Well, according to Kat, there’s one other person who could provide the answers I need.”
“That’s certainly an option if you feel that strongly about your questions. But at what cost? I warn you to consider this before meeting with her. Your husband has been gone for years. Do you want to open the door to questions you might not want to know the answers to?”
He’s right. There’s nothing in me that believes he was engaging in an affair with Gavin’s mother. Physical or otherwise. And Gavin never expressed that Dan’s visits were anything more than brief moments spent with his son. Nothing else. But it’s clear I can’t trust what we had. Meeting her might open Pandora’s box. Have me questioning things that are no longer relevant.
“What is the main emotion you’ve felt since being confronted with this, Poppy?”
“Fear.”
“Not anger?”
“Sure, I’m angry. But that feels like a wasted emotion. The main person I’m angry with is gone. What he stole, I’ll never get back.”
“And that is?”
