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“Trust. How am I supposed to believe anyone now?”
Dr. Miller grows quiet, those steepled hands beneath his chin causing him to seem all-knowing. “Tell me this. If he’d told you while he was still alive, would it have changed anything? Lessened the betrayal?”
“It depends. If he’d told me early on, it might have. But it’s the years of hiding it that make me feel this way. This young man is an adult now. Regardless of whether I could’ve been involved in his son’s life, Dan ruined my ability to trust someone.”
Dr. Miller shakes his head. “I concede, what he did was wrong. Selfish. Cowardly. But no one can take away your ability to trust. That’s on you. Sure, it may be more difficult now that you’ve experienced betrayal of this magnitude. But trust and forgiveness don’t have to be a life sentence. Make it a choice.”
Biting my lip, I know he’s right. If I want to live a healthy, happy life, I need to find a way to move on from this. I’m not certain I can forgive Dan for the lies. But I can try to accept things for what they are. It doesn’t mean everyone in my life will treat me with such duplicity.
“What have you been doing since we last spoke?”
“What do you mean?”
“You left here with a spring in your step. Ready to take on the world.”
Reflecting on that visit, he’s right. I was so proud of how far I’d come. How I’d managed my grief. Feeling more than a little miffed at my current situation, I consider that had I learned this news years ago, it may have made me angry enough to push past my sorrow. I could have rejoined the living years sooner. But then again, I may have been too bitter to trust again. Who knows?
“I’m kind of dating someone. But I’m not sure how that’s going anymore. After I learned of Dan’s double life, I pushed him away.”
“You are both adults. What you are going through isn’t easy. As I said before, if after discussing things with him openly, he can’t understand your needs, you’ll have your answer. But I hope you have something else to focus on besides the men in your past and present.”
“I do. I’ve gotten back into art. I missed my last few classes, but I’m more determined than ever to dive in.”
Dr. Miller stands from his desk, signaling our time together has come to a close. “What type of art? Painting, sculpture, photography?”
“It’s pottery. More specifically, kintsugi.”
“Ah, embracing the flawed or imperfect.”
“Yes.” I clap. Unbelievable. Not only did I not cry the whole time I was here, but I’m leaving excited about something. This man’s a genius. “Thank you, Dr. Miller. I don’t know how you do it. But I feel so much better after seeing you.”
“You give me too much credit, Poppy.” He winks, and I can’t control my blush.Matthew McConaughey just winked at me.
* * *
Driving home from Dr. Miller’s office, I notice a familiar intersection, and a thought comes to mind. If I recall correctly, he said he wanted me to know where he lived. I giggle.
I can’t believe I’m doing this. A week ago, I swore I was done with men. So why is this surgeon getting under my skin?
As I turn down the street lined with impressive homes built on gated multi-acre lots, my stomach is doing backflips. It’s been several weeks since I turned Broadie away from my doorstep. He was sweet to bring flowers and attentive to notice I enjoyed lemonade. But I was feeling manipulated.
I’m no longer going to tolerate relationships where I must accept whatever they’re willing to give. This needs to be a fifty-fifty partnership. In Broadie’s defense, this is an area he’s trying to work on. But he needs to know that if he wants space, it works both ways.
Parking my car in the driveway, I can feel my pulse thrumming in my neck. I doubt he’s even home at 4:00 p.m. on a Thursday.
I walk up the steps, take a deep breath, and close my eyes.
Here goes nothing.
CHAPTERTHIRTY
BROADIE
“I’ll let you know when I’m ready to head out, Porter.”
“And you want to drive, not fly?”
“It sounds like there will be a lengthy delay waiting to take off. I just want to get out of here.”
