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“A security alarm? No. Why would we need that? This is a safe neighborhood.”
“Yes. You’re right. I still wish I was there with you.”
Me too. But I’m sure he’s doing that overprotective thing he does with his sister. Nothing more. “Why did you call?”
“Not sure, really. I haven’t been able to get you off of my mind.”
Pulling the sheets up to my cheeks, I kick my feet under the linens at his remark. Whether this situation is complicated or not, it’s nice to have my feelings reciprocated. Especially by someone as captivating as Luca. He certainly didn’t have to share this with me. Unless it’s part of his plan to keep me dangling. To ultimately become a friends-with-benefits situation.
“You’re so quiet. What are you thinking?” he asks.
I don’t even know what to say. He’s made it clear how he feels. I can’t push for more. As much as I might want it. I need to simply rip the Band-Aid off and tell him I’m struggling because I’m attracted to him and don’t know how to handle all of this.
“I feel it too, Jill. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life. I’m struggling to do the right thing.”
Relief washes over me until I reconsider what he’s said to me before. It all seems so far-fetched. I mean, the illegal drama with his family is in Italy, not here. Is this all a convenient excuse to have his cake and eat it too?
“Can we be friends?”
“I don’t know.” I readjust myself in the bed, feeling a bit fretful over this conversation. “I can’t fight this attraction to you. It almost makes being friends feel like a lie.” That three letterword gives me courage. I need a few answers. “Luca. Are you married?”
“No. I’d never have kissed you if I was committed to someone else. That’s my father’s behavior. Not mine. I’d rather die alone than hurt a woman the way he did my mother.”
I can feel his pain through the phone and immediately feel guilty for asking. But it had to be done. My mind has been playing tricks on me lately. “I’m sorry. I had to know.”
“It’s okay. I understand. I wish I could offer you more. But I don’t think it’s wise. Maybe we should focus on the kids. Yes? Mimmo would be disappointed to not see Caleb anymore. And it’s nice having a backup plan for the children. You know I never mind helping you.”
So, we’re back to playdates.And not the fun kind.
“But if you’d rather not see me anymore, I understand that too.”
Why does this have to be so hard? Don’t I deserve the happily ever after I see so many of the nurses have? It was tough enough before. But meeting Luca is almost like pouring salt in the wound. That ever-festering wound of inferiority. I’m good enough to desire, but not enough to fight for.
Good enough to love, but not enough to stay.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Luca
“Luke,there’s a young woman on the phone.” A voice startles me, and I turn to see Fran standing a few feet behind me.
I take off my protective gear and walk toward her. “You could’ve taken a message. I would’ve called them back.” I’m still questioning whether Sampson made the right choice hiring this woman. She seems to know her stuff and isn’t bothered by being surrounded by all these crass men. But she shouldn’t come in here while we’re working without protective clothing on.
“She said it was urgent.”
Alarm bells go off in my head, worried it could be Antonia. Patting my back pocket, I retrieve my phone. Why would she be calling work instead of my cell? As I tap the screen, it becomes clear.Because it’s dead, you idiot.
“Is she still on the line?” my voice reveals my increased alarm.
“Yes.”
I make haste to the phone hanging in the shop, hit the line with the blinking red light, and close my eyes. “This is Luke.”
“Luca. Thank goodness. I feel terrible calling you there.”
Discovering the voice is not my sister’s gives me only temporary relief. Once I hear the urgency in Jillian’s tone, my panic immediately returns. But how did she get this number? “Don’t be silly. What can I do to help?”
“I didn’t realize I was on call today. I’d written my call schedule down for tomorrow evening. But they just phoned and they’re short staffed. Someone called out sick with a stomach bug. Anyway, I have to go to work and I’m panicking. My mother is out of town and?—”
