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“Yeah, me too. It’s minor. It probably wouldn’t be a big deal, but she’s a diabetic and takes blood thinners, so I think I’d like to fly out to make sure she makes it through everything okay.”
He’s right. Both of those risk factors can make any surgery much more uncertain. Both during and afterward. “Where does she live?”
“She’s in Kentucky. I don’t see her often enough because of the boys.” He bends down to scratch one of the beasts behind the ears. Looking at them when they’re quiet and obedient like this is impressive. They’re honestly majestic looking dogs when they aren’t scaring the hell out of you.
“I hope everything goes well. I’ll be praying for her, Cliff.”
“Thanks. It’s not scheduled for a few more days. But I appreciate the prayers. Good seeing you.” He makes a clicking noise with his mouth and the boys are up on all fours and off for the rest of their walk.
As I stand at the end of my driveway watching them amble away, I turn back toward the spot where I saw that car last night. Why is it making me so skittish? Funny what it does toyour brain when you’ve been sleeping with a drug dealing Italian mobster. I feel like Carmela Soprano.
Looking both ways, I walk a little closer when I see something on the ground.It’s probably a whole lot of nothing, Jillian.Is it a cigarette? Taking a few steps more, I bend to inspect it and inhale on a rush. Reaching down to pick it up, I stand to my full height and narrow my eyes at the discarded lollipop stick.
It was him.
It’s been another long day. Work sucked. The new schedule is out, and I’ve got to find out what shifts Mom can help me with, because the days of Anne working with me are clearly over.
Mom was here and looked out for the kids until I could get home. They seemed to be in a better mood today. She laughed that she remembered when we were little, she’d let us set up a fort in our room with sheets and assorted furniture when we were sad. So the kids grabbed several from the linen closet and turned the third floor guest room into a little hideaway. They played in there for hours, she said.
This made me feel better as I entered the shower. Most nights, I’d let myself have a good cry in there, where it’s private. I can’t do that in bed anymore, for fear Caleb might see.
I hate how morose it’s been here since Luca left. Everyone so down. I need to find other ways to encourage them to be fun-loving kids. Otherwise, it’s going to be a really long, miserable summer.
Stepping out of the shower, I towel off and put on my sleep shorts and T-shirt. I haven’t felt much like wearing a nightgownlately. I miss wanting to feel pretty, yet I’m still too sad to force myself to try.
I enter my bedroom and find Caleb sprawled out in the center of the bed.Gah. I love this kid, but I’ve got to find a way to get him back to his room. Reaching for my phone on the nightstand, where it normally sits, I come up short. It dawns on me I never retrieved it from my purse when I got home. I was much more interested in checking out their fort on the third floor.
Popping my head in to check on my other two sleeping children, I head downstairs to grab a glass of water before grabbing my phone. As I reach into my purse, I see it again. The flash of headlights through the windows by the front door. But this time it’s farther down and on the opposite side of the street. But I know it’s him. I’m certain of it.
As I open my door, the headlights immediately shut off. But I can practically hear the hum of the engine as the car sits idle down the road. Infuriated, I lift my phone and pound out a text.
11:55 p.m. | Jillian
I know it’s you. Leave us alone.
11:57 p.m. | Luca
No.
11:59 p.m. | Jillian
No? We deserve better than you.
00:03 a.m. | Luca
I told you as much.
00:06 a.m. | Jillian
Then why are you here?
Silence.
I spin on my heel and almost slam the door until I remember I have a houseful of sleeping children inside. Quietly fuming as I head up the steps, I put down the phone, climb into bed, and cross my arms over my chest and huff.
Why is he here? Do I call the police?
But as angry as I am with him, I simply can’t do it. I fluff my pillow and try to lie in the small space Caleb isn’t occupying and close my eyes. Not sure why. Because I know good and well, I’ll never get to sleep now.
