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And the person never showed up. Which, ugh, fine, this happens all the time, right? But I actually had already looked at the menu. I already knew what I wanted to order. But I didn’t want to eat alone. So I called up David, and asked him if he wanted to join me. We had good food and a good time.
The person never did follow up with me or apologize or anything. But now David and I resolved to be each other’s “backup dates.” If he is on a date or I am on a date, we can call each other to substitute for our real dates if they ghost us again. Or if we need to get out of a particularly heinous case of cat fishing. Which seems to happen a lot these days.Is there no such thing as honor in dating?
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October 10, 7:25am
I walk homefrom David’s house and jump in the shower. The thoughts of last night flood my mind.
I can’t believe I never set this up with a friend before. This is going to be so useful. I’ll never have to feel like I’m on a wasted date again (of course it may happen that one or the other of us isn’t free last minute, but I can always set up this arrangement with other friends, right?)
Also, it’s crazy how much our calendars naturally align, partially luck and partially we both allowed for the flexibility to make it work.. Sometimes I’d be coming home from a date or hangout, and he’d be walking up the sidewalk to come see if I was free.
Couldn’t see me in the morning? I’d move a few items around and see him late evening. Couldn’t get to me in time for dinner? I’d arrange to see a friend for dinner, and him for, well, dessert.
I wish I could tell Rachel about this, too. I think it’s funny. I like sharing funny stories with her.
Truth be told, Rachel and I haven’t talked much lately. I tried the other day, what was it, a week ago? Two weeks? I don’t know what to say to her.
I don’t hide things from David. I wish Dee lived closer all the time.
It’s extraordinarily difficult to be distant from someone who knows what you look like naked. Even if it’s two blocks.
I don’t know where this is leading. He never demands more than I want to give. He never tells me I can’t do something, unless it’s for my safety. I do not want to give up my freedoms. I do not want him to sacrifice for me or give anything up. And it’s working. We’re together because we mesh together.
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19
Valentine Kittens
Dear Valentine’s Day,
First off,I apologize on behalf of all those who decide to poop all over you. I apologize for everyone who hates on you, because they taught that a holiday has to be insanely complex thereby making all participants feel a failure. Or those who think that not honoring you “properly” somehow makes them a failure– and therefore ignore you entirely.
No, you aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some prefer other holidays to you. But you deserve a little love, too. Valentine’s Day, you want to know a secret?
I’m not a big anniversary person. The first time I celebrated you was an accident.
But now? I like you.
I like to make sure that I have a day where I, and the people I care for (or at least the romantic ones!), do something. Something special. Something we may not always have time to do. Plus, with how hectic life is right now, it was the one day this month I had to do anything at all. You bet I wanted it special.
Not all of us can afford the time, effort, or financial obligation to make “every day a holiday.” Yes, I appreciate little tokens of love, every day. Yes, I want to show my love through consistent words and actions. But this day (and a few others), I choose to make a little extra special.
It doesn’t have to be super fancy and expensive.
It doesn’t have to be all day. It doesn’t even have to be on the day. If you celebrate Valentine’s a day late or a day early or two months late, who cares? Valentine’s Day isn’t an excuse to not show love other days. It’s a reminder to make sure you celebrate your love now. Have you said, “I love you” recently? Have you gotten them a special candy they love? It doesn’t matter what. It just matters that there is something.
Why do people think love is about spending a lot of money? Do what works for you. I only started a few years ago, but I started celebrating in small ways. A series of happenstances that lead to this being important to my one relationship. So now I celebrate it, because it’s nice.
For you and everyone who honors you, Valentine’s Day, I raise a cup of hot chocolate with pink heart shaped sprinkles and extra whipped cream.
Sincerely,
A very loved Kitten
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