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“Hey Sadie?”
“Hmm,” she hummed, her mouth full of food.
“Thank you.”
She swallowed her mouthful, and her brows scrunched in confusion. “For what?”
“For being my best friend. For always having my back. And maybe most importantly for just being here for me.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d be. Besties before testes, babe.”
We didn’t bring up her history of hiding her relationship with my dad—and very much putting testes before besties—but we didn’t need to. I’d forgiven her for that a long time ago. I was grateful we’d found our new normal and that I still had her in my life. I couldn’t imagine going through this breakup without her being there ready to help me wallow through my heartache.
Best friends were worth their weight in gold, and I would forever be grateful Sadie was mine.
NEVER SHOW UP UNINVITED
CONNOR
Her door was a familiar and welcome sight, but it didn’t stop the swirling of unease in my gut as I approached it.
My therapist made coming here sound simple and easy, and of course I didn’t fight him on the suggestion because she was the whole reason I went to therapy to begin with. But now that I was standing in front of her door after two weeks without seeing her, my stomach was in knots and my anxiety was sky high.
What if this wasn’t enough? What if telling her everything didn’t fix things? What if I still ended up leaving here without her?
The knots in my stomach twistedsharplyat the idea. I didn’t want to live without her, so I needed to find a way to convince her to give us a real shot.
I knocked on the door and shoved my hands in my pockets as I waited for her to answer—all my usual swagger completely gone.
She opened the door, her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head with some flyaway strands by her eyes. Her beautiful hazel gaze stared at me with a guardedness she’d never had before, while mine traced every line of her face, memorizing each detail.
Fuck, I’d missed her.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi. What are you doing here?”
“I was hoping we could talk.”
Hurt flashed in her eyes. “I’ve done enough talking, Connor. I said everything I needed to say.”
She went to close the door, but I pushed my hand out to stop it. “Please, Jenna,” I pleaded with her. “Iwant to talk. I just need you to listen. If…” I swallowed, not really wanting to add this part, but knowing I needed to give her an out or she’d never let me in. “If you hear me out and still want nothing to do with me, then I’ll leave.”
I’d leave my heart on her floor, too, but I guessed she didn’t need to know that part.
She stared at me and nibbled her lip, then opened the door wider and stepped to the side. “Okay,” she murmured.
I took the opening and walked in, heading straight for her couch. She sat in the small chair opposite to it, and I tried not to let it sting that she wouldn’t even sit on the same piece of furniture as me.
Silence descended and she stared at me for a minute before arching her brow. Right, I guess there was no point in waiting.
“I started seeing a therapist.”
Her mouth dropped open but she didn’t speak, so I kept going. “After you ended things, I saw a buddy of mine from the army, and we had a talk about what happened over there. He made me realize that if I wanted to be with you, I needed to learn how to move past my mental block. That it wasn’t healthy to keep it all bottled inside.”
God, I felt like I was making a mess of this. That sounded like some excuse someone makes. I needed to be real with her. I scrubbed my face and then dropped my elbows to my knees, leaning forward and trying to organize my thoughts. Everything was a jumble in my head.Two weeks of intensive therapy sessions had gotten me here, but I still had to find a way to work through my body’s desire to lock down and push the words out so I could win her back.
Then her hand reached out and she touched my knee. Warmth infused my entire body at that one small touch, and when I met her gaze, all I saw was kindness, empathy, and acceptance.
