AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Jenna—” I choked out her name and she must’ve seen the desperation in my eyes because she got up from the chair and crawled into my lap. I held her tight, needing her so much more than I’d ever let myself need another person.
“What happened, Connor?” she whispered as one of her hands started sliding over my short hair, her blunt nails scratching my scalp in a way that sent tingles down my spine.
“A mission went south. It was supposed to be a pretty routine day, but it ended up being a bloodbath.” I talked with Dr. Hoffman about how much to tell her. I refused to put all the details of that day in her head, but I could give her the gist. There were some things you didn’t need to share with people who’d never experienced war—save their innocence.
“I left base that morning with fourteen other guys and came home with only two.”
“Connor,” she said, her voice filled with an apology that she didn’t owe.
“It took us by surprise, and when we got back to base, they gave us all a few days to breathe and then called us back to determine our next placement. I chose to come home. We were required to talk to a therapist before we could process our discharge paperwork—probably for liability reasons. But I didn’t really talk. I said enough to get the approval I needed to get the fuck out of there. Then I kept my head down until my commitment was up, and I was honorably discharged a few months after the ambush. I got on a plane, landed in LA, checked into a hotel because I wasn’t ready to see Grant yet, and went to a bar down the street where I sawyou. You were the first good thing I’d experienced in a long time. I didn’t want to talk about what happened because I didn’t want to ruin what we had going with my shit. But it was also more than that. I couldn’t talk about it with anyone. Grant tried, too, and every time I shut down.”
“But that doesn’t explain why you wouldn’t tell meanythingabout your life. Nothing substantial anyway.”
I looked into her eyes, needing her to see I was baring my soul here. “I was in the military for ten years. All anyone ever asks me about is my time in the army. No one has cared about anything else for even longer than that. My parents aren’t exactly the caring and concerned types, and Grant and I have known each other so long, I never really had to explain myself. The guys in my squad knew who I was and were content with that. They didn’t need to know my history or my life before we all got together. Honestly, Jenna, you’re the first person who’s cared enough to want to know.”
“That still doesn’t really answer my question,” she whispered, her eyes holding all the fear I felt in my gut. She was scared of this failing too. She was scared of getting hurt. But she was the one with all the cards here.
“Jenna, I didn’t knowhow. I know that seems like a weak-ass response and some bullshit, but it’s the truth. I don’t open up to people. I considered telling you what happened overseas, and that was the first time I’d wanted to talk about it with anyone. I think, maybe…I think I was scared of telling you too much, so I didn’t tell you anything.”
She got a cute little pucker between her eyes that I wanted to rub away with my thumb, but instead, I kept my arms wrapped around her, holding her close to my body. “So, you’re saying you continually avoided talking about yourself at all because you were afraid of sayingtoo much? No offense, but that sounds like a bunch of bullshit.”
I couldn’t stop the smile from lifting my lips. “Funny you say that, because I thought the same thing when my therapist suggested it. But I’m kinda thinking he was right. Iwantto open up to you. But you have this insane ability of making me feel comfortable, and I don’t think there’s any way I could’ve only shared bits and pieces without spilling my guts out to you.”
“And that would’ve been a bad thing?” Her voice was hoarse like she was trying not to cry, and my heart ached. Fuck, I was messing this up.
“At the time, it felt like the worst thing. And my body literally went on lockdown. Whenever I’d get close to talking, I froze. I didn’t know what else would happen if I had to relive those moments. I didn’t know if you’d look at me differently—like I was broken or something—or if I’d even be able to look at myself. I mean, what kind of fuckhead am I to drop my shit on your doorstep when you’ve got enough on your plate?”
She squeezed my thigh. “That’s not how relationships work. We’re in it together. I help you carry your shit and you help me carry mine. Only you were taking on mineandyours and not giving anything back to me. I don’t want to be in a one-sided relationship, Connor. I want to know all the things about you, good and bad. And I want you to know all my things too.”
I stared at her, wondering what I’d ever done to deserve her—if she’d give me a second chance. “Jenna…” I said as my voice broke. I didn’t think this woman had any clue the power she held in her hands. I might seem tough and scary, but one word from her and I’d be broken beyond repair. But I still needed to ask the question anyway. She’d either give my life new meaning or she’d gut me completely. Either way, the choice was hers to make. I’d respect whatever she wanted, even if it killed me. “Is it too late to fix this—us?”
MAKEUP SEX IS OVERRATED
JENNA
I stared at the man I’d fallen so hard for and couldn’t deny the utter fear and longing in his eyes. No man had ever looked at me like Connor did. Like I held his entire world in my small hands.
Truth was I felt like half a person without him. I hadn’t even felt this awful after Peter and I broke up, and we were together for four years. But one month with Connor and my heart was all in like it’d known from the beginning that he was the one for me.
“No, it’s not too late,” I whispered.
He exhaled a shaky breath and then his hand was in my hair and his lips were on mine in a bruising kiss that made me melt against him. A moan escaped from my mouth as his tongue slid across my lips seeking entrance. I parted them, letting him in—more than he knew.
God this man could kiss, and I was totally sunk for him.
My fingers curled around his neck, sliding across his short hair as he pulled me tighter against him, kissing me like this kiss could fix everything. Could make us whole again.
And maybe it could because for the first time in a week, my heart didn’t hurt and my gut wasn’t in knots. Instead, I felt like I’d found home. Connor made me feel like anything was possible.Maybe I was letting him off the hook too easily, but he’d finally let me in, and I was willing to give him another chance. He was worth the risk.
He pulled back, just enough to drop his forehead to mine, both of us breathing heavy. “I love you, Jenna,” he said, his voice strong and sure.
All the emotions that had come and gone over the last week faded to just one—love, so much love, I thought I was going to burst. “I love you too,” I whispered, my voice hoarse with emotion.
He leaned forward, kissing me at the same time as he stood, carrying me in his arms as if I weighed nothing. Without breaking our kiss, he walked toward the bedroom, only stopping once he was at the foot of my bed. He laid me down gently and stood up, his body towering over mine and his heated gaze so intense there was no way I could look away even if I’d wanted to. He reached behind him and gripped the neck of his shirt, swiftly pulling it over his head and dropping it carelessly to the floor. My chest heaved as I tried to get enough oxygen because I’d always thought that move was insanely sexy. I don’t know why, but Jesus, it had my panties soaked.
“Take ’em off,” he said, his voice deeper and more ragged than I’d ever heard it.
“Hmm?” I asked, not sure what on earth he was talking about since my focus was on his belt buckle where his hands were slowly undoing it until one end hung loose. He gripped the other end and pulled it out of each belt loop slowly, the only sound in the room the scrape of leather over denim.
