Page 49 of The Knockout


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“Ares,” she calls after me, but I’m already gone.

I’ve done this before.

I’m not doing it again.

GRACE

Iwatch him walk through the door, and my stomach drops.

My hands shake, and my legs give out as I slide down against my bed until my ass hits the floor.He just left.He told me he was in love with me, then left.What?

I didn’t mean?—

I’m not sure how . . .

Oh my God.

My phone rings in the bathroom, but I don’t get up. I can’t. I’m not sure my legs would hold me if I even tried to.What have I done?

I replay our fight over in my mind, and guilt claws at me.

I close my eyes and press my cheek against my knees as the first tear falls and a sob rips from my throat. Then I’m lifted in strong arms and pulled onto Ares lap like the most precious thing in the world. “I thought you left,” I cry.

“Yeah well, I was going to. But you don’t leave when you’ve got something worth fighting for. And you’re worth everything, Grace. But you’ve got to be honest with me. That’s the only way this works. I can’t stand liars.”

“The truth?” I ask, laughing through my tears. “I’m not even sure what that is anymore.”

“How about we start with why you’re numb,” he counters as his hold on me tightens. “The other night you told me you’re numb, and you just wanted to feel something. Why are you numb, baby? Is it from the pain or something else?”

The dam inside me breaks, and a gut wrenching sob rips from my throat. I cry uncontrollably until I can’t breathe or think or remember why I’m fighting so damn hard to stay here. I cling to Ares and ugly cry until my throat hurts and my face is bright red and soaked with tears. Until I’ve drenched his shirt, and I still can’t stop.

Ares holds me through it all.

He runs his hands over my hair soothingly, whispering over and over, “It’s okay. Whatever it is, we can get through it. Let it out, baby. Let it all out. I’ve got you.”

I have absolutely no idea how much time has passed before the sobs stop.

My throat is raw, and my eyes are dry and heavy when I finally lift my face to his, scared to death of the judgment I’m going to see shining back.

Only I don’t... There’s no judgment. Just concern.

“I hate my life,” I admit so quietly I’m not sure I even said it.

“Then let’s change it,” he answers right away. Like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“What?”

“If you’re unhappy, let’s figure out what’s causing it and fix it. You shouldn’t have to resort to drugs to get through your days, Grace.”

“I’m not. I swear.” I press my lips together and shake my head. “I have previously undiagnosed stress fractures of the second and third metatarsal bones that never healed properly. That’s what the script is for. But if you look at the bottle, it’snearly three months old, and I have over half of them left. I swear I really do take them sparingly. I promise you, I don’t have a problem. Or at least I wouldn’t if I wasn’t a dancer.”

“How long would you need to sit out to heal?” he asks very carefully. Like I’m a baby deer he’s expecting to bolt at any moment.

He’s not wrong. Because I’ve never had this conversation with anyone.

And I don’t know if I can have it now.

My phone rings in the bathroom again.

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