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“I told you, the sex dungeon didn’t make it into the final plans,” I say. “It was too expensive to install that specialty HVAC unit, remember?”
Tuck’s mouth twitches. The seasick feeling that’s taken up permanent residence in my stomach lifts. “Right. I still have a hard time believing you made Dad’s shrimp and grits with my sister.”
“Try it.” I nod at the bag on the counter. “We fucking crushed it. Well, Lu crushed it. Jen and I just kinda made a huge mess trying to help. How the hell do you do it? Cook every day? Because it’s a lot of work, man.”
Tuck lifts a massive shoulder. “I have to. It’s what you do when you have a family.”
Family.
I look down at Reese, her perfect little bald head and sweet sleepy face, and the certainty that I want a family of my own pours through me. Feels like the sun’s warming me up from the inside out.
What theactualfuck?
“I’m trying to learn,” I manage. “For us. Jen. She likes to eat, so, yeah, I gotta learn how to cook.”
Tuck eyes me. The heat in my neck spreads to my face.
“You’re not scared anymore? Of shit going south?” he asks.
I look out the windows above the sink. The marina is quiet, calm. Boats bob lazily in their slips. “Of course I’m scared. And I’m also—” I swallow. “So fucking in love with your sister. Of course I’m scared. But being scared and going after Jen anyway is better than playing it safe alone. If I had to choose between the two, I’d chose her. Every day of the week.”
Maybe if I say the words aloud, I’ll be brave enough to actually live them out.
Maybe Tuck will finally believe me. Because I suddenly have an urgent need for Tuck to know I’d go to the ends of the earth for Jen. I need his faith.
I need to know I’m not totally off-base to believe I could give Jen what she wants.
“That’s a big change of heart,” Tuck says. “You’ve never had a girlfriend before. Much less a wife.”
“Remember when you swore the only girl you needed in your life was Katie? But then you hired a new nanny, and now a year later you have three girls in your life, and I’m pretty sure you need all of them.” I let out a low whistle. “Because I remember. That’s a big-ass change of heart that happened in a tiny amount of time.”
Tuck sucks in a breath through his nose. “That was different.”
I cut him a look. He crosses his arms and shakes his head. “Fine. Point taken. But you have to understand why I’m worried. You’re not exactly faithful?—”
“How could I be unfaithful if I’ve never had a girlfriend?”
His jaw tics. “Let me put it this way. Your track record is fucking alarming.”
“I’ve let you believe it’s alarming.”
“What does that mean?” He wrinkles his brow.
“I’ve let everyone believe I’m the kind of guy who picks up married women because a reputation like that is a distraction. I wanted to distract y’all from the fact that I’ve been in love with Jen for—” Ah, Christ, I’ve stepped in it now. Might as well go all in. “A really long time. But I didn’t want to mess up my relationship with you or your family. And seeing what happened with my parents... I thought it wasn’t meant to be, so I did my best to stay far away and play the bad guy so no one got hurt.”
Tuck looks down at his daughter, who’s sleeping peacefully in my arms. “So just to be clear, you don’t sleep with married women?”
“I don’t, no. I just wasn’t interested in a relationship with anyone other than Jen, and being the bad guy was an easy explanation for why I was alone.”
“Why’d you never tell me you had feelings for Jen? If you’d just been honest with me from the start?—”
“I wasn’t ready then.”
“But you’re ready now? All of a sudden?”
I swallow. “It’s been a long time coming.”
“You should have told me. Like I said before, you definitely should’ve asked for my blessing and Dad’s too before y’all ran off and got married. Sneaking around like that is bullshit.”
