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“I know. Everything about the way I’ve handled this is wrong. I don’t have an excuse. But give me a chance to prove to you that I’m the kind of man Jen deserves. I won’t let you down.” Why am I saying these things?
Why do I mean them with all my fucking heart?
“I don’t want you to letherdown,” Tuck replies.
That’s it right there. My dilemma, boiled down to a handful of words.
“But here’s the thing,” I say, thinking out loud. “I’ve let y’all down with the way I’ve handled this. But I’d be letting her down if I wasn’t honest with her about how I felt. She deserves the truth. It’s her call what she’ll do next, but I owe her that much.”
Tuck blinks. He’s just as surprised as I am by this lightbulb moment. “Be careful, please. Jen is tender-hearted. Don’t destroy her belief in love.”
“I’d die before I ever intentionally hurt her, Tuck. I’ll work my ass off to make her happy. You have my word on that.”
He looks at his infant daughter curled into the crook of my arm. “You ready for everything that comes with that promise?”
My eyes sting. The answer that comes first? “Yes. I mean, for a long time I wouldn’t allow myself to consider it. But being with Jen... she’s made me want to take a chance. If not now, when?”
It’s the line I used on my first date with her. Didn’t realize how much I needed to hear it myself until... well, this moment.
Tuck doesn’t hug me. But he doesn’t punch me either.
“For the record,” he says at last, “I believe you.”
My stomach somersaults. “You do?”
“You’re my best friend, Abel. Don’t be so surprised that I genuinely believe you’re capable of taking excellent care of my sister. You’re already treating her better than any of those polo-wearing douchebags she’s dated. I mean, the girl can’t stop fucking smiling. That’s all you.”
I sniffle. Wipe my eye on my shoulder. “I’m trying, Tuck.”
“And you’re succeeding. I see how you’re different with her. I’m still mad as hell, but I think given some time you really will prove you’ve changed. You took a goddamncooking class, forChrist’s sake. The change is happening. Just—quit the sneaking around and the lying, all right? Give her the damn wedding she wants. Take her on a nice long honeymoon. Do it right.”
I nod, unable to speak for several beats. His faith in me means?—
Everything.
It changes fucking everything.
An alarm chimes. The front door. I can hear the girls from up here. Jen is playing the part of the tickle monster, making Katie shriek with delight. Maren laughs. The baby snoozes through it.
My heart is full to bursting.
I hear Jen’s voice in my head.Go.
Go after her.
Let go of the past.
Go live your damn life already.
If not now, when?
twenty-nine
. . .
Jen
All I Need is a Miracle
