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“Joe! You all right?”
“Fine!”
I sip my water. Really, what the hell is this guy doing? I love him, but I also feel the need to get back home. Make things right with Jen somehow. I hate the idea of leaving her to wonder what went wrong this morning. It’s not fair, and it makes me sweat knowing she’s alone and hurt.
Luckily Joe’s heavy footfalls sound on the stairs a few minutes later. He’s carrying a big plastic box. Only as he gets closer do I see that it’s marked with JENNIFER on the side.
“I got a whole bunch of boxes up there filled with her stuff. Couldn’t help myself, I kept everything from when she was a baby ’til the day she graduated from college. But this is the box I wanted you to see. High school and college.”
I try to take it from him, but he shakes his head and places it on the kitchen table. He pops off the top and motions me over.
The first thing I see is a corsage. My stomach flips. I recognize the powder blue ribbon from the picture Jen sent me via text years and years ago. The ivory roses have long since dried out, but they’ve kept their shape.
“You got this for Jen, remember? Senior year of college.” Joe carefully holds it up. “Ordered it over the phone for her from a place you took the time to find in Austin for a sorority formal. She insisted she wanted to go without a date, even though all of her friends were going with their boyfriends.”
My throat is thick. “I remember.”
“You bought her this corsage so she wouldn’t feel left out.”
He tucks the corsage back into the box and pulls out an orange photo album printed with the Texas Longhorns logo. He flips it open to the first page and there I am, standing in front of Joe’s old Silverado, Jen wrapping me in a hug.
“You helped us pack it all up.” Joe taps his finger on the truck’s bed, which is heaped with everything Jen was bringing with her to college. “Jen was so nervous, poor thing. But then you said something like, ‘look, I checked and there are six flights from Charlotte to Austin every day. You call me, I can be there in five hours max to kick anyone’s ass.’ That made her feel worlds better.”
It’s not that I don’t remember all this. It’s that I haven’t revisited these memories in... a long-ass time.
“And you did fly out to Austin with us. For her graduation.” He flips to the back of the album. We’re all lined up, Tuck, Joe, and me, Jen in the middle, wearing a cap and gown. “Surprised her if memory serves. She invited you, but she didn’t think you’d come. You being there made her weekend.”
I laugh. “We partied hard. Made me wish I’d gone to college.”
Joe’s face creases into a smile. “You made out just fine, son. And look, here’s the tickets from that Picasso exhibit you and Jen went to over in Wilmington when she was home that summer from college. Jen must’ve slipped those in here.”
I take the tickets from him, running my thumb over the tiny image of a Picasso landscape. “This was a good one. We both loved ‘Café in Royan’. It’s amazing to see his work in person. I was happy someone wanted to go with me.”
“Jen talked about it formonths.”
I shrug, smiling to keep from breaking down. “It was a good exhibit.”
He picks up a sketchbook, flipping through it. Lots of doodles and pencil work, but you can glimpse her style peeking through: playful, sharp, witty. He opens it fully to a page where Jen did a drawing of the Picasso exhibit itself. The room, the light, the paintings on the walls.
“You really fostered her love of art and design. I didn’t know a damn thing about any of that, but you stepped right in. Made sure she had access to all kinds of inspiration.” He looks at me. “You love her, son. With all your heart. And you have a good heart. Look at all this!” He gestures to the box. “I knew your dad. Even before the accident, he was never this involved in your life. He didn’t think about others before he thought of himself. He was never generous with his time the way you are. You. Are. Different. In all the best ways.”
Dropping the tickets back into the box, I cover my face with my hands. A searing burn moves through my chest. My shoulders shake.
I love this girl so fucking much.
I love her well. Proof is right here in this clear plastic box stuffed to the brim with all things Jenny Monroe.
Joe puts a hand on my shoulder. “Your experience will be different than your daddy’s, Abel. Look how it already is. Iknow you’re worried that something bad will happen to y’all. And bad things will happen, that’s just life. But y’all have deep roots. A strong foundation built on years and years of friendship. Whatever storms that come y’all’s way, there’s a very good chance you’ll survive them.”
If anyone has the right to be fearful of the universe, it’s Joe. He’s fighting cancer, for crying out loud. It’s unfair. He didn’t deserve that diagnosis.
But it’s not derailing his life. It’s not altering his essential goodness or optimism. In fact, seems to be magnifying it.
Glass is always half full in Joe’s world. Maybe it’s time I saw it that way in mine.
I’m not doomed. I’m determined to do better. Be better. And I can be better if the things Joe is showing me are any indication.
I can be happy, even if my dad isn’t. I’mallowedto be happy. The only person who can stop me is, well, me.
