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“So Jenand I went out last night,” I pant.
Riley cuts me a look as we round the bend at Frying Pan Shoals. “And?”
“I kissed her.” The words burst from my mouth. I wasn’t planning on spilling my guts to Riley on our run today, but I can’t help it. Guess I need some advice. Or a reality check.
My legs feel sluggish. Didn’t sleep great.
Not at all, actually. So now the five miles Riley and I usually crush no problem feels like a fucking marathon.
The sky has clouded over since Jen left for the hospital earlier this morning. Still feels hot as all get out on the beach, the heat of the sand radiating up my legs. The air is motionless.
I can’t stop thinking about Jen. That kiss?—
“You fake kissed her?” Riley asks.
“It was supposed to be a fake kiss, but?—”
“Dude.” Riley stops. “Youkissedher kissed her?”
I have to loop around to go back to where he’s standing, hands on his hips as he stares at me.
Swallowing, I try to catch my breath. “The whole thing—it got away from me, all right? Her ex was there and I wanted to make sure he got the message that she’s too fucking good for him.”
“And you took it upon yourself to deliver that message. With a kiss.”
I took my shirt off three minutes into the run. It dangles from my back pocket. I grab it, and wipe the sweat that pours down my temples and chest. “I was awake all night waiting for Tuck to show up at my door with a shotgun. Thought for sure someone would see us and call him.”
“I’m shocked that didn’t happen. Maybe people knew he needed his rest before the baby came, so they’re waiting until he’s back on Bald Head to share the... happy news.”
“Ha.”
“You best prepare for the ass whooping of the century.”
I smile grimly and jam the shirt back into my pocket. “I’m prepared. Also...”
“Oh, God. What?”
“She’s living with me. I moved her in.”
Scoffing, Riley shakes his head. “Just fucking marry her for real, man. This is getting ridiculous. And quite frankly weird.”
“You know I can’t be with her. Not like that.”
“You sure? I think you need to question the premise here. Yeah, your dad was a violent piece of shit. But you’re your own man now. You’re not like him, Abel. History won’t repeat itself if you don’t let it. Look at me. My old man abandoned the people he loved, but I’m sticking around.”
“Dad was decent. Until he wasn’t.” And who’s to say I won’t snap the way he did? He was in construction too. Took a fall off a ladder that broke his back and destroyed our family. We had a decent thing going, Mom, Dad, and I, until that accident fucked everything up.
It’s why I like fucked-up shit. And it’s also why I will inevitably fuck up anything good. Like Jen.
Riley’s quiet for several beats. My sneakers sink into the sand. The burn in my quads and calves is absolute misery.
So is the guilt I feel. And the sharp-edged need that’s haunted me for, oh, eighteen hours now—that doesn’t feel so great either.
I should have never.Ever. Kissed her. Under no circumstances. It was completely unnecessary. And yet I let that jackass Brian goad me into doing it, and now the taste of Jen’s mouth is all I can think about.
That, and the things she keeps in her nightstand.
She kissed me back. That’s the part I can’t get over. Didn’t touch her ring once. Almost like she wanted to taste me as much as I wanted to devour her.
