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Jesus.
I can’t believe that just happened.
Well, I can’t believe it happened. Roughly six hours ago.
I am such an idiot.
How could I have done that? What kind of demon possessed me to make out withElio Rossi?
A handsome one.
I grab the pillow again.
What the hell am I going to do now?
In a mere four or five hours, depending on when my sleeping offspring decides to wake, I’m going to have to walk out there and see him. I’m going to have to look him in his dumb face, with those lips that I know are firm and smooth and warm, and listen to his stupid voice…
And know, the entire time, that he rejected me. That I threw myself at him, I wanted to kiss him more than I’ve wanted anything in my life, and he pushed me away like nothing.
Cool.
I’ve been hoping to figure out a way to escape for weeks now.
Now, I really have a reason to figure one out.
And fast.
Because I can’t possibly walk around knowing that Elio Rossi kissed me.
And hated it enough to reject me.
Luna waitsuntil an unheard of hour to wake up. It is eight o’clock in the morning, and I don’t think she’s slept this late without being sick (or recovering from a mafia hit) her entire life.
Elio really wore her out yesterday.
The thought sends a fresh fissure of confusion lancing through my mind. Why do I like it so much? Why does it matter to me that she and Elio really do seem to have a good relationship?
My self-loathing and confusion is interrupted by a small voice. “Mommy?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Can Nonna Francesca make me French toast?”
Mentally, I sigh. What is she going to do when there is no Nonna Francesca, and it’s just her and me again in our little townhouse?
Does that future even exist for us anymore?
I shiver, because I don’t know the answer to that question.
“Mommy?”
I nod, and reach out to pat her back. Her little face, puffy with sleep and her hair escaping the braids I put it in for sleep, beams at me. “Please?”
“Yes, we can ask, but if Nonna Francesca says no…”
“You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit,” she says in her most wooden voice.
Clearly, she’s thrilled about that possibility. “Okay. Let’s get up, brush our teeth, put our clothes on, and see about that toast.”
