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“Here,” he said motioning with his hand for her to follow. He led her to his guest bedroom. “There’s a private bathroom and, like I said, there are toothbrushes in there in the top drawer. Towels are in the cabinet under the sink.”
She stepped in behind him and watched as he made his way around the room telling her of the features. It had been a long ass day and she was exhausted. In fact, with her stomach full and her mind moving in slow motion, she should be ready to drop into bed and just forget all about the day until she had to start working again tomorrow.
Instead, she was revved up. Something had her motors humming, and she didn’t think it had anything to do with work and everything to do with the man standing about half a foot from the bed.
“Tammy, are you okay?”
She opened her mouth to tell him to stop calling her Tammy, but she couldn’t. Instead, she was staring at his mouth. She knew exactly what he could do with that mouth. Memories from their time together came rushing back, those things she didn’t think about very often, unless she was alone in the bed.
He tilted his head to the side and said her name again before she drew herself back.
“Sorry, I’m just tired.”
That wasn’t a lie. Her bones were tired, and she should just want to jump into bed and slide into oblivion. But what she really wanted was to forget. To push aside all those things that she didn’t want to think about right now. There was one way of doing that and it involved hot, crazy sex with Marcus. Heat flared deep in her belly as she tried to resist the need that grew more ravenous with every second that ticked by.
“Yeah, I can understand that. And we are probably in for another long day tomorrow.”
She nodded and dropped her bag on the floor. She didn’t want to face what was coming tomorrow. It would be soul crushing. The Virginia Star bombing was the end of a dream for her. It had blown all the years of hard work and sacrifices. She’d just really started the rise in her career, but she had fought to be taken seriously. In that one little weekend, she had lost everything she had thought was important. Now, she would have to go over it again and again. Each time she had to answer questions about it, she felt a little bit of her soul sliced away.
“Hey, Tammy, are you okay?” he asked, his voice gentle as he cupped her cheek. He brushed his thumb over her cheek and that’s when she realized she was crying. Embarrassment had her gaze dropping to the ground. Tamilya Lowe didn’t cry like a baby at the end of a long day—even if the day had been complete shit. She pushed everything aside and rested up to fight a new day. And if she did cry, she did it alone.
“Don’t, baby,” he said, his voice rolling over the syllables. She loved when he called her that. It went against some of her more feminist leanings, but she had yearned to hear him call her that—especially in bed.
He slipped his fingers beneath her chin and gently urged her to look at him. He searched her eyes, as if trying to decipher her thoughts.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing.” She blew out a sigh trying to steady her nerves. “Just a long day.”
“Tammy.” The warning in his voice made her smile.
“It was an incredibly long day. And, I had to go over the thing that killed my FBI career. It’s all been a little stressful.”
Kiss me. All I need is one kiss.Even in her thoughts she was lying to herself. She knew one kiss with this man would never be enough.
Still she couldn’t say the words. The one promise she had made herself was not to make this mistake again. Marcus Floyd wasn’t a man you could mess around with and walk away whole. She’d learned that the hard way last time.
“It should have never happened that way. Addie should have backed you up.”
She shook her head and tried to step away, but he held her chin firmly.
“No. You don’t understand. That woman should have had your back. Instead, she threw you out there and left your career in shambles. You might have made mistakes, but I know you, Tammy. You were a brilliant FBI agent and you’re an even better Task Force Hawaii agent. That sharp mind of yours couldn’t figure it out, but you were close. Not one other person had an inkling. You were right and they were wrong.”
“Not fast enough.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. No one she had worked with had backed her up. They’d all walked away. If they had still been involved, Marcus would have stood behind her and backed her up.
He sighed and dropped his hand. “Believe me, I know regrets. I understand them. But I can’t bear to watch you tear yourself apart. It physically makes me ill.”
She frowned. “What are you talking about?”
He sighed and turned away, settling his hands on his hips. He seemed to be trying to calm himself down, but it also gave her a chance to take in the view. As much as she was upset, she didn’t think she would ever be so upset that she didn’t admire a man like Marcus. He was a big guy, bigger than even when they had been dating in DC. But that butt. Damn. Full, high, and she knew what it felt like to slip her hands over his flesh as he drove into her. Right now, she would like to take a big bite out of one of those cheeks.
She realized a few seconds had ticked by while she ogled him. Her face heated.
“Marcus,” she said softly. “Talk to me.”
He sighed. “I just can’t. You’re vulnerable and I can’t take advantage of you.”
She crossed her arms and snorted. “Don’t tell me the player Marcus Floyd has rules.”
