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I shrug. “I know he doesn’t, but I think he loves teaching. I don’t want to mess that up for him. This ismyfault.” Guilt pummels my chest as the words slip out. If I hadn’t tried to kiss him, none of this would have happened.
“You really can’t beat yourself up over this.” Fran squeezes my hand. “Your heart was in the right place. We can’t help who we fall for.”
I swallow hard. “I have no idea how I’m supposed to go to work. There’s no way I can be around him right now.”
“I don’t blame you.” Fran leans her head against her hand. “Would you be able to make it through the week without the pay? You can always resign immediately and then find another job.”
“I have enough saved up that I would be okay, but I’d have to pull from the money I’m trying to save for Dorian’s procedure. I really don’t want to do that.”
She nods. “I can probably get your job back for you at Bert’s. I don’t think it would take much.”
“Yeah, I guess I could look for something full-time, too.”
Her mouth drops. “Wait, what? Why would you want something full-time? You’re trying to finish up school.”
“Maybe I’ve been going about this whole thing the wrong way. Maybe I should have a full-time job, and then move my courses to online. I honestly think that would solve a lot of the issues.”
“But you’ll lose your scholarships.”
A wave of dread washes over me. “I hadn’t even thought about that. You’d think there’d be some way to remedy the situation. I just... I don’t think I can work full-time and go to school full-time, not with the commitments I have with Dorian and all his medical appointments.” My head falls to my hands as the urge to cry returns.
However, the well has long run dry, and no moisture slips from my eyes.
“Maybe just take it one step at a time,” Fran says softly. “You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. I don’t want you to go back to running yourself ragged. You shouldn’t have to do that.”
“I have to do what I have to do.” I look up from my hands, meeting her eyes. “If that’s what it takes to give Dorian the best life possible, then I guess that’s what I’ll do. I don’t want to short him just because I’m trying to lighten my load.”
“Okay, but your mental health matters, Mel. I know this all hurts right now, and I’m just as pissed at Aiden as you are. I wish I could kick him in the balls for you, but if you just throw yourself back into the same vicious cycle, I’m worried you’re going to burn out. And then you won’t be any good for anyone.”
I know she’s right, and I didn’t even know what relief felt like until I started working for Aiden. He made a way for me to be home for Dorian every evening, and honestly, it made a huge difference for us. Everything was going so well.
But now it’s all gone to hell.
“I’ll be here for you, Mel.”
I look up and meet her gaze, touched by the sincerity in them. “I know you are, and you have no idea how much that means to me.” I smile at her. “It's okay. We’ll figure this out. I know we will.”
I take a deep breath. “I’m going to resign from the position this evening. I’ll send an email, and then from there, I’ll see if myprofessors will let me finish the rest of the semester online. And I’ll transfer out of Dr. Banks’s class.”
“They’re probably going to want a reason for that.”
“Well, they all know about Dorian.”
“True. I’ll help you take care of everything on the portal tonight.”
I nod, rising to grab my laptop. “Perfect.”
28
Aiden
“Dad, I don’t wanna go to school today,” Connor groans, hanging back in the mudroom instead of following me into the garage. “I hate school.”
I sigh, my head pounding.
I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Hell, I didn’t really get any sleep at all. “I don’t have time to argue with you this morning, Connor. We need to go. I have to get to work.”
He bulks, shaking his head. “Just let me stay home.”
