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I need to figure out how to find my friend, and who is here in New York can help me.
35
Seraphina
This morning, Antonio toldme about the phone call he got last night about his friend Kalo.
I never got on with the guy, but that sounds terrible. He is distant and lost in thought. I have heard him on the phone, trying to figure things out, trying to find out where his friend is, and I am doing my best to be supportive but also to give him the space he needs to do whatever he needs to do.
It also shows me a glimpse of what his family is capable of. We both assume that it is his uncle behind it all. He told me that Lucas has been pretty blatant about letting him know he was involved,
While he is busy with that, I have been in my own thoughts.
I am sitting out on the hotel balcony, staring over the city views. Watching as far below, people move back and forth like ants. Insignificant, tiny, and even though their lives matter to themselves, from up here, I think about how if one of them was to disappear, the rest would just keep moving.
The thing is that Antonio’s family issues have me thinking about my father.
I can’t help but get lost in the idea of revenge again. I keep trying to push it away, wondering if it is worth it at all. My father’s life looks miserable. He looks miserable. He seems to be so alone, and I know what torture that is.
Also, I have found love worth living for. That is where my focus should be.
But I have so many questions. There are so many things I need to know still, and I don’t think I can have closure without the answers.
Even if I don’t chase revenge, perhaps I can just ask him. A conversation, a rather intense one, but one that gives me the answers I need. In the biggest scheme of things, my father is nothing in my life. He is one of those ants hurrying around far below the balcony. His existence doesn't affect my life and the choices I can make from here on. But, knowing - knowing that I do not know. It is driving me crazy.
Antonio steps out onto the balcony.
He presses his hands over my shoulders and massages the tense muscles.
“My angel, you have been out here for hours.”
“Did you find out anything about your friend?”
He sits down next to me. “I am working on it, but nothing concrete yet. Why are you sitting out here? What is on your mind? Something is bothering you; I can sense it.”
I nod, letting a heavy sigh fall from my lungs.
“You are right. But I don’t want to bother you with things right now. We can talk another time.”
“No, my love, remember what I told you? Talk to me. I am here for you. It doesn’t matter what else is going on in my life. You are the most important thing to me.”
I stare at him, studying his expression. So sincere, so caring.
“Seraphina, if you don’t talk to me, it will worry me. If you tell me, I might help - or at least be someone to vent to.”
“Alright. But let me make you something to eat first. You have been pacing around all day, and I can’t have you getting hungry.”
He pulls me onto his lap with a warm smile on his lips. “Then you promise me you will tell me what is bothering you.”
“Yes, I promise.” I grin.
“Ok, then let’s cook together. I am in the mood for pasta. Do we have cheese? I want to make a sauce.”
“I saw some cheese in there, and mushrooms. There might even be bacon.”
“Excellent.” He stands up, lifting me in his arms, and carries me through to the kitchen.
It is such a relaxed atmosphere, as we both allow all our worries to drift away for the moment, and we just enjoy being near each other. I laugh as he throws grated cheese at me, trying to get it into my open mouth but getting it in my hair instead. When I try to throw a mushroom into his mouth, it just bounces off his chest. “You are too tall,” I complain, having missed my target from a massive distance despite being only a meter away from him. I pick up another mushroom, and he steps forward, wrapping his mouth over my fingers and stealing it right from my hand.
