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It’s enough to make me rise from my seat and shoo my butler out of my room.
“Thank you for the reminder. I’ll be getting ready promptly.”
Shana. You’ll be mine soon enough.
I towerover most of the attendees. I’m wearing my finest linens, fabrics, and dyes from the most expensive tailors. My eyes sweep across the buzzing crowd, hoping to land upon the one woman who has dominated my thoughts.
There she is, standing upon the platform amidst the other veiled women. It’s easy to distinguish my Shana from the others. The mating bond facilitates that recognition.
She looks as beautiful as I remember.
Mysterious and alluring, she captivates me in an instant. I have half a mind to shove everyone out of the way just so that I can clear a path between her and I.
That’s not possible, however. I stick to the background, observing the festivities as the statue of Karona overlooks the event with silent omniscience. Laughter and chatter surround me, but that does nothing to interrupt my focus on the one thing that matters.
Shana.
To me, she’s like a light that shines brighter than everyone else here. She attracts me to her without needing to say a word.
I should be concerned about this. I’m not usually like this, but I’m so enamored with the thought of her that it doesn’t matter to me anymore.
“I need to find a way to speak to her,” I mumble, planning out ways to approach her without arousing too much suspicion.
However, that becomes a near impossible task once the dancing commences. All around me, couples start to glide across the floor with intricate moves that make it difficult to pass by them without running through them altogether.
Even still, I stare at Shana from afar. I’m fixated on every little thing she does, from moving slightly to the side to adjusting her veil over her shoulders. I’m obsessed with her. Does she feel the same way about me?
You should fight this feeling, Carus. You shouldn’t let some strange bond between you and the human dominate your thoughts this much. It’s unbecoming of you.
Perhaps if I wasn’t staring at Shana, I would agree with the rational thoughts in my mind trying to break through. Alas, I’m acting like a fool for Shana, and I can’t help it.
I want to get near her. I want to be with her. If I can’t fight off the intense feelings I have for her, why don’t I just enjoy things and see how they develop?
“I won’t be hurting anyone if I do,” I whisper, careful not to stare too long at any one of the dancing couples that twirl around me.
Eventually, I’ll find a way to escape this mating bond. Nothing can bind me down. I’m a child of Ishiraya, one of the most powerful lineages on all of Aerasak.
Nothing can prevent me from chasing what I want. And I desperately want Shana.
I’ll have her again, even if that’s the last desire my body ever craves.
11
SHANA
My guilt has only grown in strength despite my best efforts to relinquish it. It emerges the most whenever I perform a good deed, whispering reminders of my sins into my ears.
I know that I’ve done something that I can never take back, but the remorse refuses to be separated from me, no matter how much I plead with myself for forgiveness.
Maybe it’s true what they say, that the higher they rise, the harder they fall. I’m learning the hard way.
I’m trying to gain control over myself, I’m only moments away from stepping out onto the platform with the rest of the priestesses. I close my eyes, taking deep breaths to calm myself when a familiar hand lays itself on my shoulder.
“Shana, are you alright?” Calindra asks, wearing a comforting smile.
“I’m fine,” I tell her, feigning a smile of my own. “I didn’t get much sleep last night, you see.”
“It happens,” she says reassuringly. “But do you think you can go up? We’re due any second now.”
