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Perhaps I’m obsessed with the human. I hardly eat or sleep anymore. I’m too consumed with thoughts of Shana to even care about that.
“Carus?” My butler knocks on the door and peeks his head in. I nearly miss him entirely. My eyes are fixed upon the carving in my desk, a small inscription of Shana’s name. “Carus, are you feeling okay? Would you like a meal brought to your room?”
“I’m fine.”
“...Are you sure? When was the last time you ate?”
“I said I’m fine,” I repeat more firmly this time, sending him a glare. “Don’t disturb me right now. I’m in deep thought.”
“Right away.” My butler nods but lingers for a moment. It’s as if he wants to say something to me but holds back.
Eventually, he leaves, and I’m left alone with my thoughts again. Nothing else exists in this room, except me and my vivid memories of Shana.
Some fresh airshould do me good.
It’s been days since I started researching in the Great Archives. It’s driven me crazy to spend so much time looking for answers just to turn up empty-handed each time.
However, I refuse to give up. I owe it to Shana.
My butler continues to pester me with questions regarding my well-being. Am I okay? Have I eaten? Do I need a fresh set of clothes?
Why can’t he tell me something more useful than that? I’m fine! I feel fine. I don’t need food to fuel me when there’s Shana in my life. She’s all I’m ever going to need.
Amidst the breeze, I swear I can hear Shana’s voice calling out to me. I whip around in all directions in a desperate search for her, but there’s nothing besides the leaves that fall from the trees.
As I’m walking along a desolate, abandoned path near my home, the shadows play tricks on me. I follow them, thinking that they’re silhouettes of a small woman. The desperation inside of my body convinces me that it’s Shana.
But once I follow the shadows, I realize that there’s nothing there. It was just my imagination playing games with me, yet again.
“What is going on with me?” I whisper, scratching at my face as I make the pathetic trudge home.
With no answers, how am I supposed to return to the world? I can’t. I refuse to reveal myself until I’ve succeeded at what I’m trying to do.
I don’t care if that takes me days, weeks, or months. I will uncover more about this mating bond.
And then, I will search for Shana. She will be mine again.
“No,I can’t keep doing this,” my butler announces, flinging a luxurious set of clothing upon my bed.
I flinch from the sudden movement. Taken aback by his audaciousness, I don’t have a moment to ask him what’s wrong with him before he’s interjecting brusquely.
“You smell awful because you haven’t bathed in a week. You’ve been researching this…” He makes a motion with his hand towards my messy desk. “Whatever this is. You’ve completely lost yourself in this research with no regard for your own well-being.”
“I don’t understand how that matters to you.”
“It does because I work for you,” he replies, gesturing towards the clothes. “You have duties that require your attention. I know that your research is important to you, but this event is just as significant.”
I scoff. “What event?”
“A celebration at the Karona Temple.” My butler furrows his brows at the way I straighten myself in my seat. “A gathering of the dark elf Rulers. Do you realize the significance of this?”
“Indeed.”
As a child of Ishiraya, it’s expected of me to attend such events. I can only imagine the murmurs and speculation that would arise if I didn’t make an appearance.
But there’s something more to consider. Shana would most certainly be there. This may be my chance to see her again.
Of course, it’s going to be premature. I still don’t know much about the mating bond, but at this point, I don’t give a damn about that. The thrill of seeing her again sends an invigorating jolt throughout my whole body.
