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He puts space between us as he wipes my tears away. This time, he’s not so clumsy or awkward about it, and even kisses them away.
“Don’t cry. The last thing I’d ever do is hurt you. I go to these lengths to have you. I’ll go further if that’s what I need to do.”
I stare at him, sniffling and scowling.
“I told you what I want. That is to make love to you every night. This insatiable thirst can only be quenched by you. In exchange, I’ll make sure your secret remains between us. I have the power of manipulation. If someone ever sees us, all it takes is a few words from me.”
I look back at him, feeling doubtful. He presses further, his eyes narrowing.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ll kill anyone that so much as glances at you sideways. I promise silence in exchange for your capitulation to my desires.”
His kiss is sweet after giving me his terms. I can't respond to it as I process his words.
“What do you say, my sweet and pure Shana?”
His proposal hangs between us, a dark temptation that Carus cloaks in assurances despite knowing he’s offering me no true choice. But what can I do? There’s no other option for me in this mess. One way or another, I’m losing my dignity.
He nuzzles his face next to my head.
“Don’t think too much of it. Let yourself be malleable in my hands,” he whispers.
I’m supposed to be a dutiful priestess and handmaiden.
Another whisper. “You’re already mine.”
Is this the only option I have? To give into lust and depravity? All to keep up appearances?
Carus bites my neck. “Come to me, Shana. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you mine.”
I release my clenched fist. With the walls closing in, I agree to his terms, my consent wrapped in defeat.
“I accept,” I whisper.
He stares at me for a moment until he breaks into a smile. But he quickly tries to hide it, masking his triumph with a façade of concern. He presses his forehead on mine, sighing.
“You have no idea how much I wanted you,” he whispers.
Memories of our time together pop up in my head. I can’t stop myself from imagining us intertwined in absolute bliss. But I hide it as best I can.
Unlike him, whose satisfaction is ever so obvious on his face. Even in the darkness. Carus basks in the success of his proposition. No doubt that his anticipation's building for the continuation of our illicit encounters. The slits in his eyes show the hunger within him that remains insatiable.
He kisses me, and I expect for him to enjoy his prize, but he moves away from me. He leaves with a final whisper.
“From now on, your nights will belong to me. But don’t forget who you belong to during your day of worship.”
Shivers run down my spine, a portent of what’s to come.
“I’m coming back tomorrow with a gift,” he says before leaving out the window.
My stomach flips. “What gift?” I ask the emptiness of my room.
I stand alone, my world forever altered. I’m bound to Carus by a secret and a promise that feels both like a prison and strange salvation.
16
CARUS
Her bed is bigger than one would think. For a priestess, I would have assumed she'd have a tiny cot, but hers is a bed of comfort and, lucky for me, size. I lounge comfortably, waiting in anticipation for her to come to me.
