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“To temporarily wallow in sadness together.”
“Together,” I repeated, and we both took a generous gulp.
The crisp flavor helped remind me of the regular wine I used to drink on occasion, and it brought me a sense of comfort despite it all.
Thinking back to Sara’s situation, I couldn’t help but feel surprised to hear that things ended between them. They had been smitten with one another the last time I saw them.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” I asked, too curious to forget about it. I figured we were both hoping to get some things off our chests anyway.
Sara nodded absently as she pondered it for a moment and swallowed more non-alcoholic wine. “Losing his wolf has been really hard on him, and he said he’s too broken up about it to keep seeing me. He isn’t doing well, just like most of them. I tried to be there for him, but he said I didn’t understand. That he needed to be alone.”
My heart went out to her, especially as more tears gathered in her waterline at the memories. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out, Sara. But don’t let this stop you from acknowledging how great you are. You tried, and that’s what counts.”
Sara sniffled again and wiped her tears away, collecting herself with a deep breath. She threw back more wine and reined herself back in. “I was afraid this would happen. As good as things were, I had the feeling it wasn’t meant to be.”
“How come?”
More wine was poured into her glass, and she sat with it in her grasp. “I did love him, but it wasn’t the connection I had hoped for. I didn’t see him as a life-long partner, as much as I tried to.”
“Maybe it’s for the best that he ended things now, rather than later,” I said, hoping it was the encouragement she needed.
“That was my thought exactly,” Sara managed, fanning the heat away from her face. “It sucks now, but I’ll be fine. I just need this.”
“I understand. I’m glad you came here.”
She pulled a small, sad smile and nodded. Pushing back her tears, she murmured, “Enough about me. How are you doing since everything happened.”
While I had no qualms about listening to her problems, the moment the focus was turned to me, it threatened those emotions all over again.
My throat tightened, and my chest ached. It felt like digging that misery up, and it took everything in my power to muster the words.
“It’s been…harder than I imagined,” I said, aware of the tingle in my nose. Tears threatened to spill. “Once his wolf was ripped out, I haven’t felt anything from our bond. It’s just cold and empty, and I miss him. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
Sara’s hand was on my forearm out of comfort immediately, eyes soft and empathetic. “I’m so sorry Kai sent him away. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling with the baby and everything. It’s awful what’s going on.”
Nodding, I wiped away a tear that ran down my cheek as quickly as it arrived.
“I’m angry, I’m afraid, and I just want him back. I want everyone to feel better so we can all get back to normal again,” I started, sucking in a deep breath. “I just don’t know how we’re going to come back from this.”
Sara looked at me through our pensive silence and nodded thoughtfully. “I don’t know either. Everything feels so heavy and hopeless.”
Dropping a hand to feel the tiniest swell of my belly, I tried not to get myself worked up again. Dwelling in that devastation I felt wasn’t good for the baby and I needed to stay strong.
“For everyone’s sake, I hope we can get to the bottom of it.”
“But for now, we’re allowed to be sad and drink as much wine as we want,” Sara hummed, pulling a weak smile as she lifted her chalice to her lips. “And that’s what I plan to do.”
Moved by how lighthearted it was, I stifled my laugh, even if it still sounded somewhat bitter.
The two of us continued to drink our wine as we helped comfort one another, finding connection through even the hard times. By the end of it, Sara looked more hopeful than she started, and even I felt a moment of reprieve from the sadness.
But the moment Sara left, and I was alone in the shop to pick up the pieces, there was nothing to help block out my despair. It was only me with the weight of it on my shoulders again, and I still didn’t know how I was supposed to keep going without Rowan.
Deciding it was time to leave, I locked everything up behind me and went home, feeling that the constant rain was far too appropriate for how I felt.
When I reached my front door and made my way inside, I almost jumped out of my skin when I found someone standing in the living room.
But I froze at the realization, and my brief fear melted into a mix of shock and relief.
