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While I felt guilty, I was also glad Noah hadn’t popped up at the shop again. Whether he wanted to give me space or was completely put off me because of what happened, it didn’t matter. The chance to stew over everything in peace was good enough for me.
Regardless of what the right thing to do was, I didn’t feel like dealing with it.
In my pursuit to feel more like myself and connect with my craft, I only managed to stray further from where I started. I felt like a shell of myself, unable to fully process what had happened.
What had been one of the most magnetizing situationships I ever had fell apart just as quickly. It hurt after coming to terms with how I felt for him.
All of that agonizing and wondering felt like it had been for nothing. Those nights of wondering what he felt like and if he felt just as drawn to me as I did to him, all down the drain.
I didn’t want to believe it was over between Griffin and me, but in my hastiness, I made it pretty clear.
He didn’t strike me as someone to keep fighting for something when the other person involved was firm about what they wanted. To waste his time if he felt he wasn’t wanted.
But that was the most painful part of it all. I did want him.
Walking home after each shift at Willow’s instilled me with both hope and fear. I wanted the chance to see him on his front porch, hopeful that he would insist on getting a second chance. And yet, I was also nervous it would happen at the same time.
But each time I walked to my house, I didn’t see him. It was like Griffin disappeared without a trace. Yet, his truck in the driveway said otherwise.
Since I told him not to talk to me, it had been radio silence. He took that demand seriously and made no exceptions.
It broke my heart, but I couldn’t stop myself from wondering if it was the right thing.
While I did have feelings for him, and ones that would go away no matter how hard I tried to get rid of them, agonizing over that silence was too heavy for me to bear on my own.
I tried to be as normal as I could at the store while the last wave of customers came and went. Some asked me questions about salves and tinctures, and I did my best to answer them, even if I lacked that usual enthusiasm.
Willow glanced at me with worry in her eyes, but she was too swamped with last-minute readings to ask. I knew she’d try the first chance she could, but I didn’t feel like giving any answers.
I wanted to be alone, even if that wasn’t the usual for me.
Standing in the back of the store while Willow advised a younger witch at the reading table, I jumped when my phone rang in my pocket.
Sliding it out, I answered the call right away to keep it from ringing without realizing what the caller ID said.
I deflated immediately at the voice.
“Sara, dear! How are you?” Lyla asked, voice chipper.
Urging myself to not appear down, I forced a smile on my face with the hope of it gleaning through my voice. “Lyla, hi. I’ve been great recently, thank you.”
“It’s so nice to hear from you. How come I haven’t seen much of you recently?”
I pulled in a discreet breath. “I’m sorry I haven’t visited, but things have been very busy and I didn’t have the chance to swing by.”
“Don’t worry yourself over it, dear. I know how these things are,” Lyla said, waving it off. “I was actually calling to see if you’d like to go shopping after work. I hear some good deals are happening at the mall.”
Closing my eyes, my heart dropped.
Going to the mall was the last thing I wanted to do, especially with Griffin’s mom after everything happened.
I knew that I didn’t need to keep the façade going any longer, but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling guilty about it. I had the feeling it would break her heart if I told her, and I didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news.
Whatever the reason, whether it was for Griffin's or his mother’s sake, I pulled myself together.
“That sounds great, Lyla. I’ll be there at six.”
There was no missing her excitement as she said farewell, and we disconnected the call.
