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Either I was a colossal jerk for continuing to lie to her, or I was about to make her entire week. Regardless, I just didn’t want her to think anything was wrong.
***
My heart was heavier than a rock as I walked through the mall with Lyla next to me. She browsed enthusiastically, holding up certain items she liked for my approval.
It was harder and harder to go along with it as the time went on.
But I did my best anyway. I didn’t want to let her down, not when she had been so happy for her son.
Busying myself with one of the racks, I pushed the hangers around but couldn’t bring myself to focus on what I was looking at. I wasn’t searching for anything in particular, and it made me feel aimless.
I was far too distracted to be fully engaged.
The scratch of hangers sliding across the metal racks came from all around me, but Lyla’s voice interrupted that rhythm.
“I haven’t heard from Griffin much lately,” she said, looking through some blouses. “It isn’t out of the ordinary for him to go a few days without saying much, but it would be nice if he picked up the phone or stopped by every once in a while.”
Nodding, I reminded myself to not give away that everything had been fake. “He’s been pretty busy recently too, but I’ll remind him to.”
Lyla smiled at me for that, and she resumed her browsing. “Thank you, dear.”
Gentle music played through the store speakers, and I tried to keep myself grounded with it. To pay attention to the sounds, the sensations of the clothes and the atmosphere around me, and how it felt to be there.
I didn’t want to feel like a shell forever, and I certainly didn’t want to take any moments for granted.
It was difficult to achieve when I felt down about everything.
“You know,” she began, pulling out a top she liked and draping it over her arm. “I’ve never heard Griffin talk about anyone like he does about you. He’s over the moon. I can tell you two have a genuine connection, and that makes me happier than anything.”
Hearing that from her came as a surprise, although I supposed I shouldn’t have been surprised at all.
Griffin likely talked up our relationship to be more convincing. Maybe to get his mom to believe we were dating.
While it was easy to chalk it up to just that, I’d have to be ignorant to pretend I didn’t feel that genuine connection too. Or that Griffin seemed genuinely upset when I called everything off and didn’t want to talk to him anymore.
That raw, brutal pain that had crossed his eyes couldn’t be faked, which only made me feel worse about it.
So much had changed between us. From bickering and being at each other’s throats to making amends and giving in to the tension, and then straight back to not talking anymore. It was a whirlwind of emotions and stress, but something in me missed it.
I missed the small jumps of anticipation my heart would do when I saw him waiting outside his house, or when he’d look at me like I was the only person left in the world.
Even if I didn’t appreciate it enough at the time, he had dedicated more than enough time helping me get Ryan off my back, and he did it all without complaining.
Regardless of how overbearing or intense I could be, Griffin put up with it, and he didn’t make me feel like a nuisance for it.
I couldn’t help but wonder if Griffin’s possessiveness really did come from a good place, even if it was too far for my liking.
He had always been laid back and appreciated his peace more than anything. There was no way he’d suddenly get angry with Noah for no reason.
If he had been so quick to lose his cool on him, then I could only assume Griffin did it out of instinct. As if something within him drove him to do it.
Stuck on those thoughts while we continued to shop and talk, I felt guilty for shutting him out in the first place. We never had the chance to fully talk it out, and I wanted to know what exactly he had to say about it, even if I didn't hear him out before.
I wondered if Griffin deserved a second chance.
Chapter 25 - Sara
The festival grounds were booming when I arrived.
