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Despite everything from the night before, his rejection put a damper on the newfound sense of optimism I had. What had been interest and the beginning of respect soured faster than I ever could’ve imagined.
I silently cursed myself for ever entertaining him. For letting him pretend like I meant something to him, or that I ever needed him.
I hated him.
Liam glanced at me one last time, expression withdrawn as he slowly backed toward the doorway. “Goodbye, Cora.”
Staring at the wall ahead of me, I couldn’t say anything. Instead, I hugged myself tightly, feeling every wave of shame that crashed over me.
I couldn’t believe I ever thought Liam could be different. That he wasn’t a creature of habit who wanted nothing more than to make me smaller. Regardless of how he did it, he always managed to achieve exactly that.
When the front door closed, that anger rippled through me, riling me up.
He used me. He somehow got through my defenses and broke me down little by little until he had me in the palm of his hand.
Even after everything I had been through because of him, I let myself fall for it. I was so incredibly stupid for ever thinking Liam Saunders could change or that his actions weren’t always self-serving.
I was furious.
It wasn’t that I expected us to walk away as a couple, but I thought there was a spark. A silent intrigue that could eventually turn into something else. I felt used.
At the very least, I hoped we could reconcile. I had the idea in my head that Liam would realize just how poorly he had treated me in school and even apologize for it. I wanted that closure so that I could come to terms with how things were between us as kids.
As far as I knew, Liam didn’t think he did anything. He chalked it up to him being young and not knowing any better. But a genuine apology would’ve gone a long way for me.
Tired of feeling like I could never be worth anything because of his complete disregard for my feelings, I gripped the sheets tightly, balling them up in my fists. That rage burned within me, begging to be released.
I wanted Liam to hurt like I did. Not only in that moment, but like I had as a young girl. I had been impressionable and so confused about why a boy would hate me enough to call me names and pick on me in front of his friends. I was embarrassed and ashamed, always left wondering what was wrong with me to garner such torment from him.
I wanted him to endure that pain, even if it were only for a day.
But I didn’t know how I could make that happen.
***
The stream ran by as I walked through the trees with my hands in my pockets, unable to fully appreciate it like I normally would.
A cold wind moved through the woods, and while it forced me to bundle up, it didn’t stop me from bending down and picking up a handful of pebbles. Collecting one between my fingers, I pulled my arm back and launched it into the stream. It skipped over the surface before sinking back to the bottom.
Sara’s boots crunched the loose gravel behind me.
“I can’t believe him,” I muttered, chucking another rock. “Right when I thought I could start to trust him, he reminded me just how selfish he really is.”
“He was always bad news, but I didn’t think he’d be so cold,” Sara murmured, looking cold despite being layered in warm clothes. “I saw you two at the Roadbar together. I assumed everything was going well.”
“It was. But he got what he wanted. Apparently, that was all he wanted.” Casting another pebble out into the stream, it flopped pathetically. “I never should’ve gone near him.”
“What happened to your plan?” She asked gently. “I thought you were ignoring him like the plague.”
I sighed, moving the pebbles in the palm of my hand. “I was, but he was the one who started the conversation, and he didn’t know who I was at first. I thought reminding him would push him away, but he didn’t seem to care. He was actually trying, and he seemed…different. Better, almost. But I was the one dumb enough to fall for it.”
“It’s not your fault,” Sara said, offering me as much support as she could. “He made you think there was something else going on. He wasn’t exactly clear about his intentions.”
“I just can’t believe I let him in after everything. He seemed to have no idea what I was talking about when I brought up our past,” I muttered, tossing the last pebble. “Even after I told him how much it hurt me, he still followed through with it and hurt me in a completely different way. He didn’t even bother pretending like he could stand being around me after the fact.”
Sara gave me an empathetic look. “I’m sorry, Cora. He’s an idiot anyway, and he doesn’t deserve to be given a chance. Like I said, he’s bad news.”
Nodding to myself, I tried my best to believe her. “I don’t understand how someone like him can just run away from everything and be successful.”
